Writing Feedback / IELTS: Who should care for the elders? [7]

Hi,

I am preparing for IELTS and hence need feedback on the below essay, in terms of content and grammar:

Topic:
In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care.

Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Answer:

Age is certainly a critical factor in determining a person's health. As one grows old, age catches up and it is accompanied with aging issues.

However, in countries such as the U.K. there are old age homes for the elderly to be taken care of by employed care-takers and nurses. At times, some of these care centres are public and the government pays for caring the aged.

Considering citizens of a country serve it in various areas and enable a nation's upliftment, I think it is imperative for the government to play an active role in helping them in their hour of need.

Also,t he government receives taxes and must utilize it for a better lifestyle for people of all ages, especially the old. Having said that, family members of the aged individuals, who stay in homes, must ensure that they pay required money to the care centres as it is their primary duty to look after family elders. In fact, they must avoid sending their loved ones to homes and look after them.

Certainly, it makes a huge difference to being looked after by one's near and dear ones as opposed to nurses in care centres. But if due to some unavoidable reasons or circumstances, enough care is unavailable at home, then only elders must be sent away.But,the primary responsibility for payment of external care has to be borne by family members of the individual concerned. If not fully, at least some ownership, for example, medical expenses should be sponsored by the family whilst other expenses are funded by the government.

All in all, I think both the government and family members of the aged should jointly sponsor the fees of care centres and ensure a good life for the old and elderly.

Letters / IELTS = Letter writing; Sharing room with another student [3]

HI,

I am preparing for IELTS and hence need feedback on the below letter,in terms of content and grammar:

Topic:
You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work.

Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter,
- describe the situation
- explain your problems and why it is difficult to work
- say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

Answer:
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing in regard to my current college accommodation. I am a second year student of computers.
Presently, I share a room with a third year student of electronics and am facing some challenges.The room allocated to us is relatively smaller than other rooms, leaving space only for two beds and a single drawer,book-shelf and study table to be shared between two of us. As we both borrow books of different streams from the library, many a time there is not enough space on the table for all books to be accommodated and we retain them in our bags itself.

Also,as we belong to varied subject groups,our study circles and patterns differ. Although we do have interesting discussions on how computers and electronics complementary, at times we get into subjective discussions,based on course content and quality, which may not always be productive.

Hence, I request you to pair me with a fellow student, specializing in computers. This will help reduce my current issues and also help me have a room-mate with whom I can resolve subject-matter queries.

I look forward to your positive response and a subsequent allocation of a new room and room-mate.
Yours faithfully,
AR