Posts by PeterV

PeterV

May 22, 2009

Essays / students should work in groups [6]

I need to nail down the outline process before I assemble my essay. This argumentitive prompt below is a GRE, I have put an outline together..does it make sense ?

"As a result of numerous consumer complaints of dizziness and nausea, Promofoods requested that eight million cans of tuna be returned for testing last year. Promofoods concluded that the cans did not, after all, contain chemicals that posed a health risk. This conclusion is based on the fact that the chemists from Promofoods tested samples of the recalled cans and found that, of the eight chemicals most commonly blamed for causing symptoms of dizziness and nausea, five were not found in any of the tested cans. The chemists did find that the three remaining suspected chemicals are naturally found in all other kinds of canned foods."

Main Idea: Promofoods Products Are Safe

Paragraph #1: Promofoods Recalled 8 million cans of food
Detail #1: No chemicals found in the food
Detail #2: Process Reevaluated
Detail #3: New Quality Control Manager Hired

Paragraph #2: Promofoods in the industry
Detail #1: Industry Association Founder
Detail #2: Product Awards for Quality
Detail #3: Leader of Safety Protocol

Paragraph #3 Promofoods History & Community
Detail #1: Rapid Response to Past Issues
Detail #2: Commitment to Product Improvement
Detail #3: Founding over 100 years ago, non profit food bank

Conclusion Paragraph: Promofoods has demonstrated a sincere commitment to its customers for over 100 years, as evidenced by its recall of over eight million cans of tuna,and its industry leadership and community involvement. Promofoods evaluation process is sound, it is the gold standard of the industry, and has been replicated by food processors around the globe, thus Promofoods has and will exceed industry expectations for food safety.

I guess where I get confused is the timed CLEP Essay I will take will not allow for research to support statements such as above, therefore am I to just fabricate as I have done ? I cannot find enough from the prompt to create an outline..

Thanks Again...

PeterV

May 22, 2009

Essays / students should work in groups [6]

Sean,

I feel my inability to outline properly is where my efforts should focus...agreed?

Thank You So Much !

PeterV

May 21, 2009

Essays / students should work in groups [6]

The principal of a school does not agree with having students work in groups to do all their school work. Think about the reasons why students should work in groups to do all their school work. Now write to convince that principal whether students should work in groups to do all their school work.

Disruptive chatting students working in groups has caused principals to not appreciate group work, but it is the unseen benefits of those conversations that has been identified by some educators, this has changed the way some teach. School administrations have for years experimented with styles of learning that create unity and creativity within student study groups, but it may be at the detriment of learning according to some principals who have been diametrically opposed to this teaching rubric. New methods are availing themselves to educators who have experienced the benefits of "group work", and are now distancing themselves from previously held positions that do not support results of previous group study methods.

Principals of schools are not only responsible for the student body, but the business elements that converge with education, all culminating in a review of their performance. Any area, in which a principal is found to be deficient, is to be corrected, while new process is designed to insure positive results in the future. Class disruptions due to group work have been, in the past identified as problem areas for educators, students and parents. Additionally, cheating, perceived unfair work assignments and the inability for a child to "shine" have made it more difficult for progressive principals to implement such a plan.

However, students from across all demographic alignments agree that if a process for internal group management is established by the teacher, then communication, collaboration and production flourish. It has also been extrapolated that some of the most challenged students have seen benefits from group participation for they are able to discuss challenges without the fear of open class reprisal.

As the Chief Executive of the school, the principal must not only follow structured policy, but should also be flexible enough to test, adopt and implement new teaching strategies such as group study or other systems that support production. Benefits are not only to the student but to the administration in reduced individual instruction, a unified teaching method with proper controls, and significant advantages to resource management. Lastly, statistics speak to greater participation, higher test scores and happier parents due to the new found confidence of these somewhat self governing students.

When groups are tasked with defined goals, working metrics and a risk reward system, even the staunchest supporters of single source teaching would adopt a group study program. Previous challenges experienced by teachers, students or parents relative to group study initiatives have now come full circle, for it is the process for group management that is the solution, affording collaboration, ownership. With this in mind a principal will do more, with less, for more students...

PeterV

May 15, 2009

Writing Feedback / Paragraph Elements [4]

OK..I wrote my own prompt and would appreciate any comments. I remember the milk man..you ?

PROMPT: How did milk men live their lives

At 4:00 am most people would have been happy to just roll over and go back to bed, but not Ronny Walker, he had a mission, and his office was a well maintained white and red milk truck. What was it like to rise before others, to witness an industry in change and how did the milk man transition to other work ,or did he just live out his years without recognition.

He would have been a strong man who had a farm boy build to hoist some 300 gallons of home delivered milk every day. Eggs, Milk and Cheese where just a few of the products that were carried in his tote rack, trundling up sidewalks and drives of towns and villages, his cargo was precious and his customers needs where his mission. A milk man began this career in his early twenties right off the farm, and knew dairy products already; therefore it made logical sense to extend that practical knowledge into the field of home sales and delivery. These early entrepreneurs worked long hours, and made very little as compared to today's wages, but they had pride in their work and would stay in that position on average fourteen years.

In the early to late sixties the dairy industry experienced much change, and not all of it was good for the route man. Refrigeration had now afforded most a means of food retention not experienced up to that point. The milk man had made his deliveries early in the morning, as to compensate for unreliable refrigerated coolers of the time, and that would regularly break down and spoil all of that families food. Not to mention product theft which then became prevalent on the inner city routes, it had just gotten to the point where the dollars and cents did not add up for the dairy and more.

The job had its ups and downs. Like the mother who needed milk before 7:00am so that she would be able to feed her children fresh healthy products, and then have them ready for the school on time. On the other hand rumors of milk men and lonely house wives caused such a stir that most companies forbid home entry, other than to place product in the cooler. Additionally, the physical toll was tremendous for after twenty plus years their backs, legs and shoulders began to wear, unfortunately these men suffered until their deaths without much deserved recognition.

Reviewing the lives of these professionals leads me to respect the swing of obscure paradigms, which most do not view from this vantage point. These men worked long hours in an industry that changed so fast that in the end; they were left without the ability to enjoy the services that they had provided to their customers for so many years. The job was their life, for to them it was an extension of their family farm many years before, the impact of the decline of this industry was felt for many years. Who really knows, it could have been the milk man that said those familiar words ; early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and most importantly wise.

PeterV

May 15, 2009

Writing Feedback / Paragraph Elements [4]

I had posted an earlier ( this am) partial essay, and now attempting to refine my ability to engineer paragraphs from a prompt.

Any feedback would be appreciated.

PARAGRAPH PROMPT: Describe one place that stands out in your memory. It may be indoors or outdoors.

Clean inland water is hard to find, unless you are at Lake Watauga, in Eastern Tennessee. We had been camping in North Carolina, and while exploring its mountain range, I then found a piece of paradise, just over the state line. The lake is located at an elevation above 1,800 feet, which is encircled by mountains, therefore pollutants from runoff are less likely to poison its crystal blue waters.

Although hiking is one of my favorite activities, waking up at our campsite on the lake, within feet from the boat, feels like heaven on earth. This tranquil body of water evokes feelings of peace and tranquility. Lake Watauga has become part of our families DNA, for our memories will live on for generations to come.

PeterV

May 15, 2009

Essays / Research paper and topic on six sigma [7]

I at one point studied Six Sigma process from afar and suggest the following.

1. I believe Purdue has a program that could offer background on process
2. Bechtel ( although construction) uses this tool extensively
3. Motorola may have great info on its use, at one point they where leaders in the field.

Hope This Helps.

Peter

PeterV

May 15, 2009

Writing Feedback / 'manned spaceflight and education' - CLEP TEST ESSAY [3]

I have to take my English/Essay CLEP Exam in 18 days..I felt it made sense for me to focus on essay elements/structure first, then once someone gives me a go ahead I would begin writing within the 45 minute window. I am 45 yrs old, been out school along time, but will do what ever it takes ! Please someone comment on this partial piece I wrote using a prompt from my son..oopss my high school son who is helping me, also know as teach now :>)

here is the topic:

A student has been picked to fly aboard the next space shuttle mission. That student is you. Think about what it would be like to fly on a shuttle mission. Write to tell what happened on your trip into outer space.

We sometimes take things for granted, gravity should not be one of them, that is, unless you are aboard the space shuttle traveling at 18,000 miles an hour orbiting the earth! Once I entered NASA orientation my studies began in earnest, I had been chosen to fly aboard the next shuttle mission, for this education was to be truly interactive. I began by evaluating the student selection process, then learned mundane tasks aboard ship, but most importantly was how this trip changed my view of people and our planet.

Candidates for this flight where evaluated based upon essays written by high school students, addressed to the Director of NASA Flight Programs in Cape Canaveral Florida. My essay was chosen because it reflected a position held by children almost 50 years ago, that our future is guided by our past, and space will afford us the opportunity to once again unite for a common good. The decision to send a student into space was made by astronauts, educators and parents. Their goal was to promote education, manned spaceflight, and lastly to introduce students to science centric mentoring programs, and to evaluate its impact on space exploration.