Posts by CHEIL42571
Name: Chelsea Hays
Joined: Feb 2, 2014 |
Last Post: Feb 6, 2014
Threads: 1
Posts: 3
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From: United States of America
School: Rio Salado
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Displayed posts: 4
Writing Feedback /
What problem will arise if we are not using standard unit [3]
Good details. No grammar errors were detected. The only suggestion I have is to show confidence in your statements, you definitely know what you are talking about.
For example:
"If standard units of measurements are not used people might become confused. For example, if I ask you to weigh an ounce of something, do I mean a fluid ounce, or an actual ounce in weight or maybe even a troy ounce? Using a standard means such confusion won't happen"
Everything looks great. I would avoid the use of "might" and would take out the third sentence "Using a standard means such confusion won't happen."
How about:
"Standard units of measurement are used to avoid confusion." Then your example.
Graduate /
personal statement for a masters degree in public health [2]
Great paper. I see no grammar errors. All sentences flow nicely. If I would make any corrections at all I would suggest adding the last two sentences with the above paragraph to truly make a full conclusion statement.
Research Papers /
MLA ENGLISH RESEARCH PAPER- Ramifications of GMO Food in School Lunch [3]
***File not attaching. Reads File Too Large. Any Ideas? I tried .rtf and .wps from my word document. The document is 8 pages in length.
The rough draft of my research paper is exactly that, rough. I have collected plenty of information regarding why GM foods are harmful and how schools can implement changes. However, through the abundance of scholarly references, the organization of these ideas has been difficult. I personally feel as though I am blurting out random facts regarding the harms of GM foods in school lunches, but do not have a polished plan in place for the schools. Also, I am having a difficult time finding my voice in the paper and feel overrun by the quoted or summarized sources. The introduction and the conclusion need work in order to grab the attention of the reader and finish with a full understanding on what needs to be done in school cafeterias and why. The thesis statement has been changed several times, but I am willing to take advice on revision to further the understanding of the audience. Some work for summary citation must be made in the final draft of the research paper. Grammar and spelling corrections were reviewed but final revisions will be made by several peer reviewers and myself. The MLA format was considered but the paper will be revised to meet all requirements under this standard. This paper will need to be 8-10 pages (not including Cover Page or Works Cited) in the final draft.
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