Writing Feedback / TOEFL- People should take time to relax with hobbies or physical activities [7]

I am going to take TOEFL test a few days later, and want to improve my writing skills~ I am also confused how to write a fine essay quickly ><

you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should take time to relax with hobbies or physical activities that are very different from what they do at work.

With the fast pace of today's society, people are under great pressure from daily work. They are eager for relaxation, and find ways to make their leisure time most efficient. Most of them turn to hobbies or physical activities that are not related to their work at all for realizing it helps them relaxed more easily than those have connection with their jobs. And I couldn't agree more with them for the thought of stress relief, and expansion of horizon.

Hobbies and physical activities which have little connection with current jobs can help people relieve their pressure from work. They offer people chances to escape from the busy and tiring work and have fun for a while, which like a recharge for exhausted people. However, if people relate their hobbies or physical activities to their work, they will easily think about the stressful work thanks to their leisure items. For example, my parents are both doctors. They are tired every day due to their special job. I know they are enthusiastic to what they do in the work, and I also understand their stress as doctors. After work, they like to reading books about history and society, but not medicine or biology. No matter what kind of books related to their work, they would not touch it, even if they love their jobs. So it is obvious that interests or sports not associated with people's work can let people more relaxed and escape from pressure.

Hobbies or sports differing from people's vocations can enlarge the scope of their horizon, which the related hobbies cannot accomplish. Handing some knowledge from fields not related to own major focus will offer us lots of benefits. People enrich themselves from those hobbies and physical activities; learn something new is always good for them for the future use. Take my geography teacher as an example. He is admired for many students in my high school, even some students he does not teach. Although his abundant knowledge in geography is part of the reason, the more important one is about his research in Chinese literature. He takes it as a hobby, and began to know about this field when he was in the university. He often gives students from all classes lectures about Chinese literature, which absorbs plenty of students that even more than the number of seats in the hall. Therefore, people like to choose their hobbies from another filed for opening their minds.

According to what I mentioned above, I am convinced that people should spend time on hobbits or physical activities which are very different from their jobs.