Writing Feedback / IELTS: the high sales of goods & power of advertising - 'what we buy is up to ourselves' [6]

Hi everyone,
This is my first IELTS essay and I really need some comments so that I can know how to improve. If you can also give me a score I would be really grateful^^. Thank you so mcuh!

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, the arrival of new technologies make advertising more common in our daily life and can even influence consumers' decisions. While advertising is certainly persuasive, I believe that what we buy is up to ourselves and those high sale of goods surely reflect our needs.

On the one hand, advertising creates needs in society and can even be misleading to some extent. Advertisements have strong effects on consumers in some way as it stimulate unconscious and deep-seated motives. Sometimes, they use successful people or popular idols to pass the message that those are the latest trend and manipulate us to follow. Their methods result in consumers buying something they don't really need.

However, advertising can only persuade us but can't decide for us. Firstly, advertisements inform us about the various choices we have, the general images about the brands but those are not decisive elements of whether to purchase or not. Individuals have own ways to judge and one thing in common is that they mainly depends on needs. Secondly, if we did buy an advertised good and found no use, we won't buy it again and our friends and relatives will know about this good which will never make it a bestseller as a result. Finally, the mass media leaves us a wide range of ways finding out the qualities and functions of goods so that we won't be easily mislead by advertisements' exaggerated images.

In conclusion, it seems to me that those goods sell well are in real needs of the society instead of the effects of advertising.