esereadmyessay
Apr 16, 2014
Undergraduate / Hiking is rewarding; University of Washington transfer personal statement [3]
Thank you for the feedback! I see where I got lost in creating a spirit, and have taken out that introduction paragraph. Do you guys think it sounds ok without the narrative aspect? I just want to make sure there's enough voice in my essay to give admissions a sense of my character. I've also reworded and added more emphasis to the evolution of my interest, and how my cultural and academic experience can help me in this field. I'm now at 629 words.
When I first started Clark College, I intended to become a registered nurse. Going to community college would save money, and I would be able to gain certification for a career that has excellent projected job growth. That sounds fairly reasonable, right? However, by my second year at Clark College, I came to realize that while I appreciate the work nurses do, I want to help people in a different capacity. The following year was plagued with indecision. I constantly debated the pros and cons of potential majors, and what jobs I could make of them. Honestly, for a time I even contemplated not going to school at all. During the Summer 2013 quarter I decided that I'd been stagnant on the issue too long, and officially changed my major to the Associate of Arts - Direct Transfer Agreement.
Academics, working in my community, and life experience have fueled my progression towards Global Studies. My father is from Spokane, and my mother is from a small seaside town in Nagasaki. Despite growing up on opposite sides of the world, they bond together based on their shared values, hardships, and good humor. I've been blessed to be born into a mixed race family, where I get the benefits of knowing both American and Japanese culture. I'm especially grateful to them and the diverse, close knit community I was raised in. Through everyday life experience and opportunities I've had to travel to different countries, I've learned that despite globalization on all levels, adversity is still present. There is just as much racism and negativity towards Asian and Middle Eastern people as there are against African Americans. It's always baffled me that while most communities share the same values and hopes for their children, their opinions of people from different cultures can be polluted by stereotypes and media prejudice based on ethnicity, religion, and politics.
Education is extremely important to me, and I want to be able to utilize all my knowledge and skills in my future pursuits. When I changed majors I was able to take classes that exposed me to a variety of new pathways, issues, and areas of study that I was previously unaware of. I've been able to volunteer with the Multnomah County Animal Control, run a study group for statistics, have an internship with Wacom Technology, and lead teams of young adults from across the United States and Canada on overnight hiking excursions in the forests of Washington. While these things may seem disconnected, they've all given me the chance to interview people from different careers and academic backgrounds.
By opening myself up to the possibility of doing something different, my whole outlook on education changed. Classes I've taken on economics and statistics, art history and communications, have contributed to my growing interest in the sphere of global studies. By focusing on multiple disciplines, Global Studies gives a more holistic understanding of people from different cultural, geographical, and political backgrounds. In my own experience, politically correct or not, religion is also a big part of politics and global relationships. Majoring in Global Studies at UW Bothell would positively benefit my future career aspirations because it's an interdisciplinary program that encourages students to study abroad. Understanding all these subjects is important to be able to develop and maintain global relationships that international businesses, politics, and non-profits rely on. It's also crucial to understand these things in order to find solutions to global problems, and improve the quality of life for people across the world. In the future, I hope to work in one of those fields. I'm confident that the University of Washington Bothell School of Interdisciplinary Arts and Sciences will provide me with opportunities to gain the knowledge, connections, and experience to establish a good foundation for my future.
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Any thoughts guys?
Thank you for the feedback! I see where I got lost in creating a spirit, and have taken out that introduction paragraph. Do you guys think it sounds ok without the narrative aspect? I just want to make sure there's enough voice in my essay to give admissions a sense of my character. I've also reworded and added more emphasis to the evolution of my interest, and how my cultural and academic experience can help me in this field. I'm now at 629 words.
When I first started Clark College, I intended to become a registered nurse. Going to community college would save money, and I would be able to gain certification for a career that has excellent projected job growth. That sounds fairly reasonable, right? However, by my second year at Clark College, I came to realize that while I appreciate the work nurses do, I want to help people in a different capacity. The following year was plagued with indecision. I constantly debated the pros and cons of potential majors, and what jobs I could make of them. Honestly, for a time I even contemplated not going to school at all. During the Summer 2013 quarter I decided that I'd been stagnant on the issue too long, and officially changed my major to the Associate of Arts - Direct Transfer Agreement.
Academics, working in my community, and life experience have fueled my progression towards Global Studies. My father is from Spokane, and my mother is from a small seaside town in Nagasaki. Despite growing up on opposite sides of the world, they bond together based on their shared values, hardships, and good humor. I've been blessed to be born into a mixed race family, where I get the benefits of knowing both American and Japanese culture. I'm especially grateful to them and the diverse, close knit community I was raised in. Through everyday life experience and opportunities I've had to travel to different countries, I've learned that despite globalization on all levels, adversity is still present. There is just as much racism and negativity towards Asian and Middle Eastern people as there are against African Americans. It's always baffled me that while most communities share the same values and hopes for their children, their opinions of people from different cultures can be polluted by stereotypes and media prejudice based on ethnicity, religion, and politics.
Education is extremely important to me, and I want to be able to utilize all my knowledge and skills in my future pursuits. When I changed majors I was able to take classes that exposed me to a variety of new pathways, issues, and areas of study that I was previously unaware of. I've been able to volunteer with the Multnomah County Animal Control, run a study group for statistics, have an internship with Wacom Technology, and lead teams of young adults from across the United States and Canada on overnight hiking excursions in the forests of Washington. While these things may seem disconnected, they've all given me the chance to interview people from different careers and academic backgrounds.
By opening myself up to the possibility of doing something different, my whole outlook on education changed. Classes I've taken on economics and statistics, art history and communications, have contributed to my growing interest in the sphere of global studies. By focusing on multiple disciplines, Global Studies gives a more holistic understanding of people from different cultural, geographical, and political backgrounds. In my own experience, politically correct or not, religion is also a big part of politics and global relationships. Majoring in Global Studies at UW Bothell would positively benefit my future career aspirations because it's an interdisciplinary program that encourages students to study abroad. Understanding all these subjects is important to be able to develop and maintain global relationships that international businesses, politics, and non-profits rely on. It's also crucial to understand these things in order to find solutions to global problems, and improve the quality of life for people across the world. In the future, I hope to work in one of those fields. I'm confident that the University of Washington Bothell School of Interdisciplinary Arts and Sciences will provide me with opportunities to gain the knowledge, connections, and experience to establish a good foundation for my future.
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Any thoughts guys?