Posts by Sam123

Sam123

May 23, 2014

Writing Feedback / To be successful in studying, students should have a good method to learn effectively. [6]

Hi Thanh Mai

I have gone through your essay.Following are some modifications that i found you can consider.

Some students find themselves study better when they ~~are study~~study alone, while others would love to study in a group
And it is for sure that both of them have their own advantages. instead it could be both the methods have their own advantages.
studying alone offers students ato highly focus on their job.It could be written as studying alone helps to concentrate better.
Studying without others people around, students do not have a shot at doing nonsense such as chatting, laughing.
--> studying individually helps to avoid unnecessary discussions.
Hence, it is not ~~effectively~~ effective if students work with many people but they do not take seriously.
-->Hence it is not effective to study in a group as we tend to waste a lot of time.

Sam123

May 23, 2014

Writing Feedback / Toefl Essay: House or a business. Which would you choose to buy? [4]

Hi Thanh Mai

Thank you for reviewing my essay.
I would surely consider your suggestions and try to implement it.

Thanks!!!
Sam

Sam123

May 22, 2014

Writing Feedback / Toefl Essay: House or a business. Which would you choose to buy? [4]

Hi , I have recently joined thi forum and i am posting my first essay here . Could you please read and rate it and suggest me improvement to make it better.

Topic : You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which
would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choice.

If a person is having enough money then to invest it in business or buy a house from it
depends on his priority and needs.If someone is not having his own house and he has to settle down with family
then his priority will be to buy a home first.Or if anyone who is very ambitious and wants to earn money then
probably he will invest that money in business.If I would be there then i will choose an option to buy a home from it.

As in my opinion buying a home adds to our fixed asset which will be with us forever.

If we consider to establish a business then it involves many things. Firstly,we have to do
market ananlysis to decide which kind of business to initiate. It is always better to have some entrepreneur's
opinion on the current market demand and supply.While buying a house also involves searching of well established
and trustworthy builder who can provide us a good deal.

Any business venture at initial stage requires a lot of investment to establish its office , to
buy raw material,then to provide man power and machinery etc. While buying a house does not need anything other than money.
In business once get established it needs adverstising of its products , its branding.

Also , after doing all this ,there is a big risk factor remains.What if the product is not sold? Business will
go in loss and debt.Buying house does not involve that much risk as even if the price of the land or house is not increased over years

we can sell that property any time.

Thus all in all , in my opinion if someone who does not want to take any risk and be on safer investment ,
investing his money in property is always a better option than staring a business.

Thanks.