Writing Feedback / TOEFL - modern society has become more complex, so it is essential for the young people [10]

Hi,everyone I am Li Bo from China.This is one of my practice essays for TOFEL ibt test.I am looking forword for your suggestions and thanks very much for helping me promote my writing skill.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Businesses should do anything they can to make a profit. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

There are a thousand Hamlets in a thousand people's eyes.As we see, this issue-businesses should do anything they can to make a profit-is a complex one,and so different are personal experience and emotional concerns among people from diverse culture that individual might hold unique perspective.In my opinion,business also have a lot of significant things to do besides making profit.

Businessmman should realise that only when they give priority to the customers benefits and rights will they deserve the profit thay have been made.In other word,a corporation can not maitain its profits without considering the consumers's feelings.A company should always offer high-quality products and good service to its supporters if it want to survive in this increasingly fierce market competition.Gaining the trust from the consumer is the first step for business to success.

In addition,we would all agree that business must respect its employee's rights and benefits.Without the contribution of the employees,a business's goal to success is just like a castle in the air.According to a survey conducted by Chinese Academy of Social Science,all of the leading companys in China have a great employer-employee relationship.Workers in these top businesses can not only have a high reasonable salary but also gain the sense of achievement.It is evidently that trust and loyalty from employee are the cornerstone of successful business.

Last but not least,businesses should be responsible to the social stability and progress.Businesses should distribute profits to their supportive community.This can be done by donating money to none-profit organisation or building a park for local residents.After the catastrophic earthquake detroied most of the buildings and killed thousands of people in Sichuan Province,some company donated milions of dollars to help local people rebuild their motherland and won great social reputation.

In a word,we can not deny the fact that profit to a business is like water to fish,but profit does not mean everything.There are many equal important things for a business to emphasise,such as respecting customers and employees,fulfilling its social responsibility.Taking into account of all these factors,we may reach the conclusion that businesses should not only focus on profit.