Undergraduate /
"Comrade Hu and passion for languages" - College Admissions Essay Introduction [13]
Ben, does the following sound more intro-like to you? It is a bit long but it could be shortened.
Mustafa, I wanted to use an introduction that was engaging. Had I started off "I was trying to teach myself Chinese..." it might have seemed boring. Is the following clearer?
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While my athletic friends ran laps, did pushups, and lifted weights, I spent my afternoons performing drills of a different kind.
"Which one is Comrade Hu?" I listened again to the rising and falling tones of the Mandarin Chinese sentence, before spitting out the reply with an automaticity that would make a drill sergeant proud: "That one is Comrade Hu!"
The tapes were a vestige of the 1950s, developed by the Foreign Service Institute to train diplomats in the language before their jobs took them abroad. The course had aged a bit, and it showed: as I listened I wondered how many times I'd be hearing the word comrade on the streets of present-day Beijing.
Nevertheless, it was thorough and the best resource I had at a school that offered only Spanish, French, and Latin. I persisted, committing words like "to come" and "to go" to memory and leaving words like "section chief" for later. Finally, I mustered the courage to try out my Chinese on the native speaker who sat behind me in Freshman Latin. "Wo hui shuo yidianr putonghua!" I said proudly.
He furrowed his eyebrows. "Oh, I speak the other dialect." Bad luck, I guess.
"You speak Cantonese?" I asked, confirming.
"Wait-no. Mandarin. Say that again?"
My tones, he told me, were awful.