Writing Feedback / Contemporary life prevent people from developing into strong and independent individual - Gre Issue [6]

Q. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into teuly strong and independent individuals.
In asserting that the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals, the speaker fails to acknowledge the fact that there are people who come out of such life to become independent citizens. Nevertheless, I agree with the statement to a certain extent that such luxuries have made individuals take less efforts to reach a goal in one's life.

First, the individuals have been showered upon by their elders with various goods and facilities. Parents want their children to be the best amongst the group so they provide them with clothes and gadgets that are jaw-droppingly expensive. They want to show others that they can provide their children everything that is available. For example, provide young children with xbox or playstation or ipod touch. These gadgets are all avoidable and also they are of not much use to these young children other than wasting their time instead of using it to do something productive.

Secondly, when you see elders providing you with so many expensive stuffs, you lose the interest to work hard to gain anything. The desire to work hard to be achieve a goal is reduced as the possibility of money giving a helping hand comes into the consideration for these children. For example, individuals in previous years used to work hard to gain admission in a reputed college of choice. But nowadays, they know what money can buy, i.e, a seat in any college of choice for a particular amount of money paid. Hence the idea of individuals standing up for themselves is thrown out of the window.

However, it is not always the case. Individuals with strong will-power or focus will always stand up against the odds. The main factor is the motivation in them to do when. The moment when the motivation and focus is lost, the individual will lose the plot. The case of the famous cricketer, Asif Khan is one example of the latter and the case of the world renowned footballer, Cristiano Ronaldo is the example of the former. Considering the case of Asif, he was lured by the riches and the luxuries that money provides into match fixing. The assumption that money is above everything and the fact that it can be gained without much effort resulted in him getting engulfed into the fixing racket and once inside there is no way out of it. As a result of this he had no way back and eventually was caught. Whereas the case of Ronaldo is an inspirational one with constant hard work and determination to prove he is the best. Even after being showered with money for his wonderful play, he has never lost his focus and work ethic for which he is lauded all over the world.

In sum, although the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into strong and independent individual, it is the will power, focus and the determination of the individuals that will result in them being the cream of the crop.