Posts by karenchen [Suspended]

karenchen

Sep 9, 2014

Writing Feedback / People care more about public recognition than about money [4]

Hi Louisa（I hope I don't get your name wrong.). Thank you so much for your help. I want to explore more from your review notes so that I can avoid similar problems in my next essay.

First, I notice that you delete quite a few transition phrase such as, "To begin with""though""for example""which is""in the long run". Actually, by using these phrases I aim to make the transition more natural, and give a　hint to the readers what i am going to talk about next, or what's the relationship between the next sentence and the previous sentences so that they won't have trouble figuring out the framework and structure of my essays. Do you think these phrases don't work as I attempt to, or they make the essay not concise enough?

Second, the first paragraph,Why do think the second one ｍｏｒｅ　ｃａｔｃｈｙ？　Ｉｓ　ｉｔ　ｂｅｃａｕｓｅ　ｂｙ　ｕｓｉｎｇ　ｐｈｒａｓｅｓ　ｌｉｋｅ　＂ｒａｔｈｅｒ　ｔｈａｎ＂＂ｔｈｅｒｅ　ｉｓ　ｎｏ　ｗａｙ＂，　ｍｙ　ｓｔａｔｅｍｅｎｔ　ａｐｐｅａｒｓ　ｓｔｒｏｎｇｅｒ？

Ｔｈａｎｋ　ｙｏｕ　ａｇａｉｎ　ｆｏｒ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｓｕｐｐｏｒｔ．：）

karenchen

Sep 9, 2014

Writing Feedback / People care more about public recognition than about money [4]

7 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People care more about public recognition than about money. Even if no more money is given, public recognition can still make people work harder.

OR: Company should use public recognition, not money to reward hard working.

{I get a little bit confused with the phrase "no more money is given" here. Is it saying that employees no longer get paid or they don't get extra payment?}

Unquestionably, to gain public recognition and money are two of the dominant reasons for people to go to work. Now that some people argue that recognition by the society plays a more important role in driving the individuals to work, and therefore when the employees are given adequate respect and recognition, they will keep their working passion even if they won't get extra payment. However, it is my assertion that getting paid, rather than public recognition, remains the first and foremost purpose for most workers.

USER SUSPENDED FOR VIOLATING THE FORUM RULES.