Writing Feedback / Are people bound to tell the truth at all times, or is it better to lie or tell partial truths? [2]

This is an SAT practice essay prompt.
"Are people bound to tell the truth at all times, or are there situations in which it is better to lie or tell only partial truths?"

I am given 25 minutes to plan and write an essay in which I develop my point of view on this issue. I am to support my position with reasoning and examples taken from my reading, studies, experience, or observations.

Please do take into account that this is a 25-minute rough draft, and not a revised or re-edited essay (as I am not allowed to change anything after the 25-minute mark). However, please do rate this essay - on a first draft basis - a score between 1 to 6, depending on how well I develop my point of view (effective reasoning to support my view), use of words, sentence structure, as well as absence of grammatical errors.

Regardless of the fact that I cannot change my essay, I would like to know what I can improve on for future reference. Thank you!

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Lying, no matter the situation, is never justified. Lying goes against my religion, and my even be the cause of rifts between relationships. I believe that by telling the truth, people not only maintain their integrity, but their honest opinions are also well-valued by their peers. So the saying goes, 'Honesty is the best policy', so should we live our lives.

As a Christian, I have been taught from a young age not to lie. To Christians, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, is the epitome of perfect. As chronicled in the Bible, God sent Jesus Christ down to earth to save man-kind from spiritual death. It states in the Bible that throughout Jesus' 33 years on earth, he never once told a lie. He established strong connections with the people on earth through His honesty, His trustworthiness, and integrity. After Jesus left to be with God after accomplishing His purpose on earth, it is recorded in the Bible that many men and women mourned and cried for Him. As believers of Jesus Christ, Christians strive to follow after Jesus' example of creating strong relationships with those around us through our upright moral code of honesty.

Having worked in my parents business for almost a decade, I have witnessed how many, many employees fired due to their dishonesty. Last year, my parents approached a clerk who had been working at the front desk when a large sum of money from the desk went missing. The clerk had sworn on her life that she did not take the money. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, my parents allowed her to continue working at the front desk. However, two weeks later, another bundle of cash went missing! After approaching the clerk a second time, the clerk finally admitted that she had stolen the money on both occasions. Being Christians, my parents gave her one last change to redeem herself by allowing her to continue working with them. However, a few weeks later, my parents found out through another staff member that the clerk had been stealing small amounts of cash that would go by unnoticed daily ever since she began working at the company at the beginning of the year. The clerk was immediately fired the next day.

Lies can help you out of sticky situations, but it is usually the very same lie that turns around and bites you in the butt! Jesus did not have any backstabbing lies to worry about because while on earth, He had been an honest, just man. My parents would have found the grace in their hearts to forgive the clerk if she had truly been repentful and honest, but she was not. That was the main reason my parents fired the clerk.

I believe that through honesty, you can create clear connections and relationships with your peers, colleagues, and bosses. People have faith in trustworthy, honest men rather than those who have a record of telling lies. I do not believe that it is justified to lie or tell partial truths in any situation.