Mlyk
Sep 23, 2014
Scholarship / 'I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth' - SEMESTER AT SEA PRESIDENTIAL SCHOLARSHIP [5]
Also I have another question regarding the content of another essay question in this scholarship.
I had my uncle edit and read these 4 short paragraphs in response to the question, what he ended up doing in the end was rewriting my whole essay in his own voice. He took out the components of the essay that made it me, its not as if his version is bad its just not mine.
Here is the essay:
What personal qualities would you like to develop to become a more effective leader?
My response:
Qualities I find, that with self-assertiveness could complement ideals seen in an effective leader focus on becoming a better person, attributing that to your own strengths. The voice of being something potentially bigger than yourself gives me life. Upon taking action comes along others who either share your passion or are there for support, this brings me to one of two areas of weakness. I use the term weakness lightly not to condemn myself but by realizing one's own faults only then can a person move forward with confidence in future improvements.
The ability to play the role of delegator is giving yourself less room for error by trusting in the people you surround yourself with, this is a strength that I want to continue to build upon. Trust isn't an easy thing to earn from some and what I've learned up till now is going into an unfamiliar environment or situation and just being honest with who you are and what morals you abide by is a starting point in gaining mutual trust.
Now others will look anticipating a course of action, bringing me to a state of expressing my ideas to those willing to listen hoping that my passion will linger in my words and carve inspiration. As human beings we psychologically search for meaning beyond our everyday tasks seldom coming upon moment where we are struck by figures who move us. I yearn to become such a figure, not only as a youth existing in generation x but as a nineteen year old young adult working towards her prime. My passions have molded me into who I am today and throughout the lessons I have learned in and outside of the classroom having the ability to involve others in such passion pushes me towards communicating a bigger picture.
I come now to a timeless trait that is colored with many types of personalities, confidence. Before a leader takes his march, evokes his ideals into the hearts of the people that same leader has to have belief in himself before anyone takes notice. There is balance within that determines the force of such a powerful trait, by knowing when and how much is appropriate I learn in douses the affect my own demeanor has on how I'm perceived.
His response:
The personal qualities that I would like to develop in order to become an effective leader are assertiveness, trust, excellent communication skills, and strength of character.
Assertiveness, for example, means speaking for or advocating for those who, otherwise, would not speak for themselves because of fear, timidity, or intimidation. Thus, by speaking for and on behalf of the weak and politically and economically powerless, one shows his or her leadership skills.
Trust is another important element of leadership, which does not come easily, but has to be earned. By delegating tasks, activities, and other functions to other is to say "I trust that you will see this to completion." By building this trust in others, it is returned mutually to the one delegating, enabling the realization and accomplishment of many deeds between the delegater and the delegate.
Developing and putting into practice effective communication skills ensure that as a leader, I listen and communicate well with those I have been fortunate or entrusted with leading. This means that I listen without interrupting the speaker and speaking when I have the full and undivided attention of the listener. In addition, by knowing my audience very well, I can custom-tailor my message to ensure that it is well received and responded to in the way that I intended.
Finally, the possession of strength of character ensures that a leader does not lose his or her composure under the most trying and testing of situations, as these situations would and do arise. Thus, by possessing the strength of character, the leader remains unflappable, showing a great deal of emotional intelligence and letting the unfavorable situation define him, her, or character. In summary, these---assertiveness, trust, excellent communication skills.
I'm confused as which to use now
Also I have another question regarding the content of another essay question in this scholarship.
I had my uncle edit and read these 4 short paragraphs in response to the question, what he ended up doing in the end was rewriting my whole essay in his own voice. He took out the components of the essay that made it me, its not as if his version is bad its just not mine.
Here is the essay:
What personal qualities would you like to develop to become a more effective leader?
My response:
Qualities I find, that with self-assertiveness could complement ideals seen in an effective leader focus on becoming a better person, attributing that to your own strengths. The voice of being something potentially bigger than yourself gives me life. Upon taking action comes along others who either share your passion or are there for support, this brings me to one of two areas of weakness. I use the term weakness lightly not to condemn myself but by realizing one's own faults only then can a person move forward with confidence in future improvements.
The ability to play the role of delegator is giving yourself less room for error by trusting in the people you surround yourself with, this is a strength that I want to continue to build upon. Trust isn't an easy thing to earn from some and what I've learned up till now is going into an unfamiliar environment or situation and just being honest with who you are and what morals you abide by is a starting point in gaining mutual trust.
Now others will look anticipating a course of action, bringing me to a state of expressing my ideas to those willing to listen hoping that my passion will linger in my words and carve inspiration. As human beings we psychologically search for meaning beyond our everyday tasks seldom coming upon moment where we are struck by figures who move us. I yearn to become such a figure, not only as a youth existing in generation x but as a nineteen year old young adult working towards her prime. My passions have molded me into who I am today and throughout the lessons I have learned in and outside of the classroom having the ability to involve others in such passion pushes me towards communicating a bigger picture.
I come now to a timeless trait that is colored with many types of personalities, confidence. Before a leader takes his march, evokes his ideals into the hearts of the people that same leader has to have belief in himself before anyone takes notice. There is balance within that determines the force of such a powerful trait, by knowing when and how much is appropriate I learn in douses the affect my own demeanor has on how I'm perceived.
His response:
The personal qualities that I would like to develop in order to become an effective leader are assertiveness, trust, excellent communication skills, and strength of character.
Assertiveness, for example, means speaking for or advocating for those who, otherwise, would not speak for themselves because of fear, timidity, or intimidation. Thus, by speaking for and on behalf of the weak and politically and economically powerless, one shows his or her leadership skills.
Trust is another important element of leadership, which does not come easily, but has to be earned. By delegating tasks, activities, and other functions to other is to say "I trust that you will see this to completion." By building this trust in others, it is returned mutually to the one delegating, enabling the realization and accomplishment of many deeds between the delegater and the delegate.
Developing and putting into practice effective communication skills ensure that as a leader, I listen and communicate well with those I have been fortunate or entrusted with leading. This means that I listen without interrupting the speaker and speaking when I have the full and undivided attention of the listener. In addition, by knowing my audience very well, I can custom-tailor my message to ensure that it is well received and responded to in the way that I intended.
Finally, the possession of strength of character ensures that a leader does not lose his or her composure under the most trying and testing of situations, as these situations would and do arise. Thus, by possessing the strength of character, the leader remains unflappable, showing a great deal of emotional intelligence and letting the unfavorable situation define him, her, or character. In summary, these---assertiveness, trust, excellent communication skills.
I'm confused as which to use now
