cloverie
Nov 17, 2014
Writing Feedback / Is it more important to have an enjoyable life than to earn a lot of money? [ielts writing task 2] [8]
very: this word is in low level, u should use other words: numerous, various for higher mark
job and happy life: parallelism mistake -> satisfactory job
common: on one side -> separate this sentence into 2 smaller ones
essential, while others
I think: not formal -> From my perspective
should not use "you" "your" in ielts
overall, in order to obtain higher mark in ielts writing, I recommend u to upgrade your vocab and avoid common grammatical mistakes :)
Nowadays, issues regarding the link between job and an happy life are very common:
on one side people who think that loving their job is essential, others who think that money is the key in order to have a satisfying life. I think that both views can be correct to certain extents, but to me doing a job that you enjoy leads to a more fulfilled life.
on one side people who think that loving their job is essential, others who think that money is the key in order to have a satisfying life. I think that both views can be correct to certain extents, but to me doing a job that you enjoy leads to a more fulfilled life.
very: this word is in low level, u should use other words: numerous, various for higher mark
job and happy life: parallelism mistake -> satisfactory job
common: on one side -> separate this sentence into 2 smaller ones
essential, while others
I think: not formal -> From my perspective
should not use "you" "your" in ielts
overall, in order to obtain higher mark in ielts writing, I recommend u to upgrade your vocab and avoid common grammatical mistakes :)