Posts by bratt99

bratt99

Oct 23, 2014

Undergraduate / Going outside my "bubble" - Common App Essay [2]

I see two friends wave at me from inside ~~the~~ ( change it to a room ) room, urging me to go inside.

What is A4 paper?
Why were they drenched in sweat?
Maybe include 'going through' countless hours of grueling practice, criticism, and contention.
later, I improved. I learned {learning} the basics of signposting, and the importance of rebuttals.

This is really good. Just minor grammer things, could you please help me too?

bratt99

Oct 23, 2014

Book Reports / Santiago, Personal Legend and traveling - The Alchemist [2]

Prompt: In many works of literature, a character goes on a journey that changes his or her life. In a well-developed composition describe how Santiago's journey changed his life and explain how the journey relates to the work as a whole.

My thesis (my teacher told me it has to be descriptive and one sentence) : Santiago goes on an expedition that will be difficult and hard to overcome, which King Melchizedek persuaded him to go on to discover his Personal Legend: of determining more about life, throughout the book Santiago focuses more on uncovering his Personal Legend then what traveling is truly about: Life is about the journey, not the destination.

Is this good or really bad? I REALLY NEED HELP.