Undergraduate / College of Arts and Sciences, School of Nursing, The Wharton School, Penn Engineering; school choice [12]

Hello I am applying to UPenn and would like for someone to review my essay for any corrections and or improvements. This is my first time on this form or on any form. I appreciate any help in trying to improve my writing. I am applying early decision and I have until 11/1/2014 (7 days). Please feel free to give any comments and be honest.

"The Admissions Committee would like to learn why you are a good fit for your undergraduate school choice (College of Arts and Sciences, School of Nursing, The Wharton School, or Penn Engineering). Please tell us about specific academic, service, and/or research opportunities at the University of Pennsylvania that resonate with your background, interests, and goals." 400-650 words

I have been informed numerously about college and its impact on ones future. That every step taken plays a function in forming the University one will attend, which would help assure that person's chances of success. I worked diligently to fulfill that dream inspired by the experience of the masses close to me. I sought for that University passing by it without notice until that day arrived when my eyes were opened to the power of attraction that went along to attract me. A spot that affords me the ability to expand my relationships outside the boarders. Stepping inside I discovered people who were proficient at what they manage. Others helping you gain while others making sure you don't lose. Times came when I criticized my achievements in front of the university that everyone complemented. Being a person who thrives to achieve the best is the reason why I was steadfast in my decision to going to UPenn.

Offering a broad scope of opportunities to participating outside the classroom, UPenn, not only allows me to become an engaged student in class, but an active member in the community. For example, the International Program, held at UPenn, helps students view things from other positions. Likewise, the availability of clubs and organizations, such as the CommuniTech Club, which helps tremendously in connecting peers in order to achieve certain ends. It teaches students the power of unity and how to work with a diverse set of people to reach the same goal. At UPenn, you experience what is called learning through services. This substantial eminent program provides scholars with the ability, as we say, to hit two birdies with one stone. You take in students using what they've discovered in the classroom to the tangible world while benefiting themselves and others simultaneously. Incorporating people who merge between academics and socialization inside a beautiful, historical, and lively environment UPenn can easily be classed as an elegant rich bowl of success.