Unanswered [3]
  

Posts by jasonma2046 [Suspended]
Name: Ma Jie
Joined: Oct 25, 2014
Last Post: Oct 25, 2014
Threads: -
Posts: 1  
From: China
School: Shanghai International Studies University

Displayed posts: 1
sort: Latest first   Oldest first
jasonma2046   
Oct 25, 2014
Undergraduate / My Best Worst Experience - Summer Camp Abroad (alone) at the age of 8. -- Common App Personal Essay [6]

This is a very good essay indeed! However, I think that the information you want to convey to the readers is not very clear and strong. For example,in the story of the religious conflict, you have not mentioned about what religions both of you belong to and what is the conflict and different beliefs you have. Well, that is my personal opinion.Good luck!
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳