UMhopeful
Oct 29, 2014
Undergraduate / Fixing connectedness - UM Pre-Essay [2]
First: Here is my University of Michigan "pre-essay." Any comments or suggestions would be great!
Prompt: If you could only do one of the activities you have listed in the Activities section of your Common Application, which one would you keep doing? Why? (Required for all applicants. Approximately 100 words)
If I could only do one activity for the rest of my life, I would choose teaching Sunday School. While I love band dearly, I can't bear to imagine not going to see "my kids" each week. I love it too much, from lesson planning to class-time. The ability to teach a child and see them truly learn, and to watch these kids gain confidence each week in part due to my encouragement; these are absolute gifts.The ability to teach is an opportunity I will always treasure, and I could never pass it up.
Second: Here is my first UM essay. I feel it's missing something and is a bit disjointed, so any help would be great!!
Prompt: Essay #1 (Required for all applicants. Approximately 250 words)
Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it.
The most enjoyable community I belong in is my school band community. When I am with the band, I am completely myself. Although I hold the position of 'Music Librarian,' this only specifies duties I am responsible for. While this title tells my peers that I am pleased to help with all music organization and distribution needs, the band truly acts as one. When one band member is hurting, we all rally behind them as support. During marching band drill, if one person is out of position, we are all affected; this is the same in our lives.The band works as one to make a unified, harmonious performance, and we keep our community the same. We work together in our strive for our goals, and this makes our band run as a well-oiled machine; each person is key in the operation, and we don't function as well if everyone isn't supporting each other. My band community is a family, and my life wouldn't be the same without it.
First: Here is my University of Michigan "pre-essay." Any comments or suggestions would be great!
Prompt: If you could only do one of the activities you have listed in the Activities section of your Common Application, which one would you keep doing? Why? (Required for all applicants. Approximately 100 words)
If I could only do one activity for the rest of my life, I would choose teaching Sunday School. While I love band dearly, I can't bear to imagine not going to see "my kids" each week. I love it too much, from lesson planning to class-time. The ability to teach a child and see them truly learn, and to watch these kids gain confidence each week in part due to my encouragement; these are absolute gifts.The ability to teach is an opportunity I will always treasure, and I could never pass it up.
Second: Here is my first UM essay. I feel it's missing something and is a bit disjointed, so any help would be great!!
Prompt: Essay #1 (Required for all applicants. Approximately 250 words)
Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it.
The most enjoyable community I belong in is my school band community. When I am with the band, I am completely myself. Although I hold the position of 'Music Librarian,' this only specifies duties I am responsible for. While this title tells my peers that I am pleased to help with all music organization and distribution needs, the band truly acts as one. When one band member is hurting, we all rally behind them as support. During marching band drill, if one person is out of position, we are all affected; this is the same in our lives.The band works as one to make a unified, harmonious performance, and we keep our community the same. We work together in our strive for our goals, and this makes our band run as a well-oiled machine; each person is key in the operation, and we don't function as well if everyone isn't supporting each other. My band community is a family, and my life wouldn't be the same without it.
