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Posts by qweralokd
Name: jason lee
Joined: Oct 30, 2014
Last Post: Nov 1, 2014
Threads: 1
Posts: 4  

From: United States of America
School: westfield

Displayed posts: 5
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qweralokd   
Oct 31, 2014
Undergraduate / A Secret Worth Sharing [4]

I really like your ideas there is just some rephrasing you need to do then you'll be fine
rephrase
The first day I decided to be my own competition was the first day I felt accomplished
my arms were about fifty pounds each
The journey from running a block and feeling winded to running four miles and feeling distinguished was a long one in every way possible
The same game face I wear today with a drum on is the same one I wore five years ago the moment I realized I could.
qweralokd   
Oct 30, 2014
Undergraduate / If I'd follow the path of what society thinks about ways to become successful, I would fail. [4]

Personal statement
The question
If I followed the path of what society thinks people do to become successful, I would be a failure. I see the idea of success in a different way than society does. Society views a successful person as a rich man with many assets, while I take an extremely different approach to the subject.

This past summer as a volunteer at a local engineering company; I learned basic building structures and designs. While working on designing a building blueprint, a fellow volunteer and I got into a deep conversation about success. We debated the definition of success and my fellow volunteer, Michael, expressed that material goods constituted success. He believed that a successful person has a lot of money and luxury items. Success in my mind is not about self betterment but about contributing to the betterment of society.

A few weeks later the discussion stirred up again not only with my friend but with my teacher. We had a discussion on how the journey is more important than the destination. The materials gained from being successful are not as important as the wisdom you gain from the journey to reach that success. The average person's view of the idea of success is too idealistic, for instance individuals may think that success has to be a major destination whereas I believe that the idea of "success" must be achieved through minor goals.

Success in my mind is the idea of one person to be productive and efficient in society. Media considers having materials such as a big house, a new car, or even the latest trends as a happy or successful individual ,but it's not; a person who is successful contributes to society constructively. A man who leaves the world in a better place is recognized as a successful person. Through proper education one can learn to become a more efficient or successful person.

Please fix anything you see wrong Thanks
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