Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by RainyZhang
Name: Xiaowen Zhang
Joined: Nov 1, 2014
Last Post: Nov 1, 2014
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
From: China
School: Beijing Changping New Oriental Foreign Language School

Displayed posts: 6
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
RainyZhang   
Nov 1, 2014
Undergraduate / I investigate people. Why major- Statistics [2]

I am an observer, who enjoys spending spare time hanging out in a certain park and finding an excellent observation point to peek at others.

Trace back to a lazy afternoon during this summer, I was sitting on a bench in the People's Square. A young man with a black peaked cap was giving out real estate leaflets. A house wife took a leaflet and had a look, but then folded it into a paper plane for her little boy who happily threw it far away. A student-like volunteer, wearing a shirt saying environmental protection, began trotting to catch the plane. However, the plane flew faster blown by the wind and finally fell over a table of an outdoor café. A neatly dressed business man picked it up, opened it up, ran it over and handed it to the waitress, who then dropped the leaflet on the ground. Later, a humpbacked rag picker picked the leaflet up and put it into his scruffy bag.

I had a hidden peep from my observation point. I kept my eyes following the leaflet, imaging everyone's reaction when they looked at the real advertisement; wondering how their careers and their salaries influenced their thoughts; supposing if different ages and different genders brought them different views. All of a sudden, I had an impulse to record the numbers and facts related to the questions and explore factors deciding every choice and the proportion of each factor. I finally realized the "peep" had exposed me to a variety of social phenomena.

Therefore, I aim to major in statistics, the study of the collection, organization, analysis, interpretation and presentation of data, to help me investigate people. Those who I have observed are samples come from diverse backgrounds, and what I want to learn is how these samples imply some characteristics of the population and whether their interests, religions, families, cultures, experiences influence their choices in life. A long way as it may be, I have enough patience and natural enthusiasm to find the answers and I will put all my efforts to achieve my goal.
RainyZhang   
Nov 1, 2014
Undergraduate / Sustainability, Entrepreneurship, Marketing, and Global Business - U of Michigan Ross Business Essay [2]

I can't compare it to the wonderful learning opportunity with Ross' resources.

Opportunities

What stands out to me about Ross is this critical, innovative learning process that teaches applicable skills that I know can propel a business career.

There are two attributive clauses that may be cumbersome. My prefer one is "this critical, innovative learning process teaching applicable skills that I know can propel a business career"

I would especially appreciate being able to select precise courses I felt a curiosity in.

Felt curious about

and taking this course would give me opportunities to grow into even stronger leadership roles, creating an even larger positive change.

develop even stronger leadership roles, create an even more largely positive change.

In addition, I would take advantage of Ross' Global Initiatives program

Advantages

I'm not a native, so my suggestions may not exactly correct.
Anyway, wish to help you a little bit.
RainyZhang   
Nov 1, 2014
Undergraduate / "Asking questions make you stupid" was a belief I always had, but I challenged it - COMMONAPP ESSAY [5]

Or did she reject my year end thesis?

you mean final paper?

She explained to me how learning is a two way communication process through question and answer.

I guess "two way" should be "two-way"

you spelled some words wrong, like realized, skeptical and you need to re-read your essay to correct some errors in tenses and grammars like are judged but not are judge.
RainyZhang   
Nov 1, 2014
Undergraduate / "Grind the leaves and then filter them into pigment extracting solution" - An essay about Failure [6]

The success was achieved by Victoria and only belonged to her, whereas I got a complete failure but, consolably, also an important lesson about patience. This sentence needs to be rewritten in active voice

It is true that only Victoria succeeded in this experiment, yet it is only me who learned the lesson about the importance of patience.

How about this one? I would appreciate if you could reply.
RainyZhang   
Nov 1, 2014
Undergraduate / "Grind the leaves and then filter them into pigment extracting solution" - An essay about Failure [6]

The essay demonstrates your ability to write clearly and concisely on a selected topic and helps you distinguish yourself in your own voice. What do you want the readers of your application to know about you apart from courses, grades, and test scores? Choose the option that best helps you answer that question and write an essay of no more than 650 words, using the prompt to inspire and structure your response. Remember: 650 words is your limit, not your goal. Use the full range if you need it, but don't feel obligated to do so. (The application won't accept a response shorter than 250 words.)

Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn?

Please write an essay (250-650 words) on the topic selected. You can type directly into the box, or you can paste text from another source.


"Grind the leaves and then filter them into pigment extracting solution; draw a solution line on a filter paper strip with capillary for five times; cut the end of the strip into a V-shape; put the "V" in chromatographic liquid and make sure that the liquid does not exceed the line." I carefully followed every step on the reference material to extract and separate chlorophyll. Finally here came the long period of waiting for the ultimate result. Several minutes later, however, on the filter paper there was only a mess but not "the four layers of pigments" as I had expected. I was so disappointed that I wanted to give up, yet I recollected something that reminded me of patience.

It was in a biology course that Victoria and I were doing the Reducing Sugar Detection experiment in Grade 11, which I had once conducted in grade 10 before I transferred to the present secondary school. Firstly, grind the apple into liquid; next, make up Fehling's solution with 0.1g/ml caustic soda solution and 0.05g/ml copper sulfate solution; then, mix the apple juice and the Fehling's solution together; finally, get the compound heated in a water bath. We took every step carefully and everything went well until the precipitation turned out to be dark orange instead of the dark brick we expected.

This experiment is the same as I did before: the same use of raw material, the same solution preparation, the same method of operation, and most importantly, the same ultimate result. At that time my chemical teacher told me that I had heated the reducing sugar for too long to keep it integrated; this time I failed again to detect the phenomenon and I told Victoria about my previous experience and asserted our failure, while she ignored my word and persisted in heating the compound. I was so annoyed by her indifference to my advice that I decided to sit aside and waited for her "good news".

Ironically, after a couple of minutes, I did actually receive the "good news" that the dark brick precipitation appeared in the tube. At the moment I saw the expected result, what filled my mind was not the sense of achievement, but feelings of shame for my narrowness and regret for my conceit.

"It's like a miracle, you know, a year ago, when I did the same experiment." While I was trying to gloss over my mistake, Victoria just interrupted, "It is NOT a miracle but a payment for patience." Suddenly, I was rendered speechless because I realized how unpersuasive my explanation was. Teacher told me about overheating last time because I had heated the object for too long, while this time, under a different condition, I attributed similar phenomenon to the same reason and proclaimed our failure without analysis. It was impatience that caused my arrogance and my narrow experience. I forgot that the most necessary factor of a successful experiment is patience. The success was achieved by Victoria and only belonged to her, whereas I got a complete failure but, consolably, also an important lesson about patience.

"Difficulties mastered are opportunities won ". The experiment reminded me of patience when I was nearly driven crazy by the mess on the filter paper. Yet a person cannot be defeated for the same reason twice. I decided to quietly wait for the change of phenomenon, for my success. I was really happy, finally finding the mess disappearing and the pigments getting layers. I could never be surer of the payment for patience than that moment because it actually brought me success after all.

Please let me know if you find some grammatical mistakes or wierd points. I wish natives could understand my point.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳