bekkaboo121
Nov 5, 2014
Writing Feedback / Effect of popular events on our life [8]
I think you're off to an okay start, but I would suggest working a little bit on the grammar portion. Some of your sentences in the beginning come off as a little bit choppy, like they don't flow as well as they should. Some subject/verb issues. Sometimes, ending statements are made more powerful when you don't use "I" . or example, "I thought those cookies tasted heavenly" or " The cookies tasted heavenly, as if angels themselves had baked them"
Good luck :)
I think you're off to an okay start, but I would suggest working a little bit on the grammar portion. Some of your sentences in the beginning come off as a little bit choppy, like they don't flow as well as they should. Some subject/verb issues. Sometimes, ending statements are made more powerful when you don't use "I" . or example, "I thought those cookies tasted heavenly" or " The cookies tasted heavenly, as if angels themselves had baked them"
Good luck :)