chani
Nov 19, 2014
Writing Feedback / Each generations have unique features with technology development. My time is different in many ways [3]
This is an TOEFL essay . Could you please correct my essay and give some marks out of 5.
Every generation of people is different in important ways.How is your generation different from your parents's generation.
Every generation of people have positive or negative aspects.Each generations have unique features with technology development. I believe my generation and my parents's generation are different in many ways.
My parents's generation is more relax and less works to do than my generation.They can easily find a gob in the city where they lived.They didn't want to go far away for find jobs.Their day to day works were related with family.They had simple life style.Therefore money was not a big problem for their life.As an example , My father was a teacher.He worked in the city school.He earn some money and that money was enough for taking care of our family.He had enough time to connect with us.Everyday we all had dinner together.Everybody in the family were happy and stressful. But my generation, we work full day and sometime weekends.We need to earn more money for food , house and other expenses.sometimes we don't have time to talk with our children.In this busy life, we don't have much strong relationship with our children.
The other different thing is that our generation is connected with the new technology. Everybody use internet to do most of the works.In this new technology ,our generation is more creative mentally but not physically. Before 30 years ago, the technology is not much bond with people.As an example my parents don't know how to use computers.They were resistant to change in technology.We write , chat , do shopping and studding from computer through the internet.Moreover we can't survive without this new technology.
This new technology is more positive affect to people's life style.
In conclusion , older generation and new generation are different in many ways. Their thoughts attitudes and activities are different.We can learn many good things from our parents generation.
This is an TOEFL essay . Could you please correct my essay and give some marks out of 5.
Every generation of people is different in important ways.How is your generation different from your parents's generation.
Every generation of people have positive or negative aspects.Each generations have unique features with technology development. I believe my generation and my parents's generation are different in many ways.
My parents's generation is more relax and less works to do than my generation.They can easily find a gob in the city where they lived.They didn't want to go far away for find jobs.Their day to day works were related with family.They had simple life style.Therefore money was not a big problem for their life.As an example , My father was a teacher.He worked in the city school.He earn some money and that money was enough for taking care of our family.He had enough time to connect with us.Everyday we all had dinner together.Everybody in the family were happy and stressful. But my generation, we work full day and sometime weekends.We need to earn more money for food , house and other expenses.sometimes we don't have time to talk with our children.In this busy life, we don't have much strong relationship with our children.
The other different thing is that our generation is connected with the new technology. Everybody use internet to do most of the works.In this new technology ,our generation is more creative mentally but not physically. Before 30 years ago, the technology is not much bond with people.As an example my parents don't know how to use computers.They were resistant to change in technology.We write , chat , do shopping and studding from computer through the internet.Moreover we can't survive without this new technology.
This new technology is more positive affect to people's life style.
In conclusion , older generation and new generation are different in many ways. Their thoughts attitudes and activities are different.We can learn many good things from our parents generation.