Scholarship / Essays for International Youth Camp on Anti-Corruption [3]

Dear all,

I'm Kartika from Indonesia; and really interested on attending International Youth Camp in Asia. This camp will be held by one reputable organization on anti-corruption. The committee requires an application form including 2 short essays. Could you please give me some comments and advises about my answer and explanation as below?

1) Why are you applying to participate in the International Youth Camp? If selected, what do you expect to gain from this experience?
Joining in the International Youth Camp will give me four advantages. Firstly, I have a big chance to learn deeper about transparency and integrity in the light of [organization name]'s vision on supporting people around the world to live within free of corruption. Secondly, I would love to exchange experiences and ideas between youth about corruption cases and its prevention which happened in Asia. Thirdly, it is an opportunity to participate in a youth network on eradicating corruption and fighting for fairness. Fourth, the corruption and anti-corruption topics correspond to my focus study in promoting sustainable education through implementing living values. Thus, these advantages will contribute to my self-development personally and socially as a daughter, a student, and a citizen.

Name three reasons why you think you should be selected to participate in the International Youth Camp!
The reasons I should be selected to participate in the International Youth Camp are, first of all, I want to be a role model who is proactive to fight against corruption and care for my home country issues although I have been studying abroad. Being silence as a foreign student in foreign country is surely not an option no more. Second, I will bring the passion of [organization name] on accountability, transparency, and integrity to the communities where I am involved, for instance student associations, social movements, and even in the youth organizations in the church. For the time I finish my study abroad and back to my home country (continue my career as a teacher), I must be gladly to share my experience to the students in the school and the people in the social events (such as, events arranged by [some organizations I'm involved in]). Third, I really want to share my living values on creating free-corruption environment that have principally been taught by my parent, then I strengthen during my study in the university and my social activities. These reasons also encourage me to be optimist to join anti-corruption activities, especially in the International Youth Camp.

Thanks a bunch in advance.