aksylumoed
Dec 8, 2014
Undergraduate / Egotism - My failure; I've accepted that I'm not the best, and I'm perfectly fine with that. [2]
Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn?
What's ego? A part of our inner being that fills us with delusion. A delusion which wraps us around a belief that we are the best at what we do, and others are just subordinate creatures who are incapable of giving us any counseling. The ones who we reluctantly accept are smarter than us, we never wish to acknowledge them. This failed perception was my failure, and now I have finally come in terms with it, and learnt a valuable lesson.
I have always been overconfident and egoistic. My ego is the worst, gets the worst of me, and it lead to a lot of "failures". I have always been the kind of person who never bothered to ask for help from anyone, accepted the 'fact' that I was indeed the smartest person in the room. I never was, and never will be. My ego was so mammoth, that it gave Walter White's ego an inferiority complex. My ego still comes in the way, but I've learnt a way to deal with it. I've realised the harm it does to me, and the people who matter to me.
Firstly, and mostly, it affected my parents. It started with my reluctance to accept their advice, and most of time it's profitable. It's for my benefit, but my ego won't let me tell my father, "Dad, that's a great idea! You're awesome!" And they really are that awesome; if it were someone else, they'd have gotten rid of me so soon. For my parents to still be there for me, it's the best they can do as people, and I love them. But why can't I tell them? Why am I so hesitant to tell them I appreciate their affection and I couldn't make it a day without them. The best thing I could do, is persistently get my ego out of the way.
My ego played a harsh role in my academics too. I was quite an all-rounder, I took part in almost all activities. My scores were way above average in terms of my studies, as well. In my country, it's very common for students to have a tutor outside the school. Every 2 students out of three, had a personal tutor, for whichever subject(s) they were weak at. I chose not to have a tutor, and to make the best out of whatever resources I had in high school itself. I always self- studied, never bothered to ask anyone for help, spend countless hours trying to figure out a problem. A part of that habit was beneficial. Didn't Albert Einstein say "It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer." I would have, however, done a lot better if I'd just accept that I wouldn't get some topics, and that I needed help. After every exam, the teachers would advice the students who have done poorly to ask the "smarter" students for help. I did well in almost every exam, but when I couldn't, it killed my ego to ask them for help. Always thrashed and ranted about the education system whenever my grades weren't good enough. "How can marks calculate whose smart and who isn't? I can do this on my own, I don't need anybody's help". I was so wrong.
I finally gathered that I was a cocky individual only after my 10th grade finals; my results were good, but not what I was capable of. I was confident, and always will be, but the kind of overconfidence laced with a bloated sense of ego was why I got grades I certainly wasn't proud of, albeit I deserved it. This might not qualify as a 'failure' by some, or it most certainly might sound a very mild kind a failure. But, this was my failure, and it had the profitable lesson to teach me. It took time for self acceptance - to realise that I indeed wasn't the best, and this " holier than thou" attitude is detrimental.
I've went through a gradual metamorphosis since then. I've come in terms with my ego and escaped my delusion. I've accepted that I'm not the best, and I'm perfectly fine with that.
Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn?
What's ego? A part of our inner being that fills us with delusion. A delusion which wraps us around a belief that we are the best at what we do, and others are just subordinate creatures who are incapable of giving us any counseling. The ones who we reluctantly accept are smarter than us, we never wish to acknowledge them. This failed perception was my failure, and now I have finally come in terms with it, and learnt a valuable lesson.
I have always been overconfident and egoistic. My ego is the worst, gets the worst of me, and it lead to a lot of "failures". I have always been the kind of person who never bothered to ask for help from anyone, accepted the 'fact' that I was indeed the smartest person in the room. I never was, and never will be. My ego was so mammoth, that it gave Walter White's ego an inferiority complex. My ego still comes in the way, but I've learnt a way to deal with it. I've realised the harm it does to me, and the people who matter to me.
Firstly, and mostly, it affected my parents. It started with my reluctance to accept their advice, and most of time it's profitable. It's for my benefit, but my ego won't let me tell my father, "Dad, that's a great idea! You're awesome!" And they really are that awesome; if it were someone else, they'd have gotten rid of me so soon. For my parents to still be there for me, it's the best they can do as people, and I love them. But why can't I tell them? Why am I so hesitant to tell them I appreciate their affection and I couldn't make it a day without them. The best thing I could do, is persistently get my ego out of the way.
My ego played a harsh role in my academics too. I was quite an all-rounder, I took part in almost all activities. My scores were way above average in terms of my studies, as well. In my country, it's very common for students to have a tutor outside the school. Every 2 students out of three, had a personal tutor, for whichever subject(s) they were weak at. I chose not to have a tutor, and to make the best out of whatever resources I had in high school itself. I always self- studied, never bothered to ask anyone for help, spend countless hours trying to figure out a problem. A part of that habit was beneficial. Didn't Albert Einstein say "It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer." I would have, however, done a lot better if I'd just accept that I wouldn't get some topics, and that I needed help. After every exam, the teachers would advice the students who have done poorly to ask the "smarter" students for help. I did well in almost every exam, but when I couldn't, it killed my ego to ask them for help. Always thrashed and ranted about the education system whenever my grades weren't good enough. "How can marks calculate whose smart and who isn't? I can do this on my own, I don't need anybody's help". I was so wrong.
I finally gathered that I was a cocky individual only after my 10th grade finals; my results were good, but not what I was capable of. I was confident, and always will be, but the kind of overconfidence laced with a bloated sense of ego was why I got grades I certainly wasn't proud of, albeit I deserved it. This might not qualify as a 'failure' by some, or it most certainly might sound a very mild kind a failure. But, this was my failure, and it had the profitable lesson to teach me. It took time for self acceptance - to realise that I indeed wasn't the best, and this " holier than thou" attitude is detrimental.
I've went through a gradual metamorphosis since then. I've come in terms with my ego and escaped my delusion. I've accepted that I'm not the best, and I'm perfectly fine with that.
