Letters / Cover Letter for an application for an intern position at HSBC [6]

Hi all,

I am applying for an intern position at HSBC. Below is my cover letter. I would appreciate if you guys can help give out comments so that I can improve

Thanks a lot in advance.

"With a long-term passion for working in the banking industry and embarking on the new challenges, the opportunity to work as an intern at HSBC would certainly open up a challenging yet exciting pathway for my future careers. The prospect of immersing in the banking business with HSBC, one of the leading banking groups in its industry, fits my vision of my future careers just perfectly, and I believe that I possess the qualities you look for in an intern. Moreover, it is widely acknowledged that HSBC is strongly built on the pillars of talented people of common vision, and it feels even more than blissful and rewarding for me to be able to work with them towards generating new ideas and business solutions in order that the ultimate mission is accomplished: success. Additionally I would be able to learning precious insights and professionalism from them while trying my best to contribute my share of value to better enhance the performance of the entire team.

Majoring in Information Systems and Finance has equipped me with abilities both on the technical side for the design and deployment of business information systems and on the business side of analyzing the values, the costs and the risks of implementing the business solutions and their alternatives. It is not just about doubling the edge, but the harmonious synergy of IT and Business, especially in the context of banking industry where such synergy proves itself to be extremely important and productive. Thanks to the heavy workload plus the CCAs in XXX University, I have learned to manage my time effectively, which in turn allows me to handle multi-tasks simultaneously while still committing to quality of the work. I really enjoy the fast-paced and challenging working environment since only at that moment I can get the most out of myself, which has been proven by my rigorous university life so far. Furthermore, as an university event associate, I have been able to sharpen my problem-solving, communication and interpersonal skills significantly.

I believe that all the above-mentioned factors will help me adapt to the future experience in HSBC better. I will not only give out my very best but also keep myself open to learning and experiencing new challenges. I am a supporter of lifelong learning, and HSBC has proved itself to be the best place for next phase of learning.

Enclosed with this letter is my updated resume. It shall be my pleasure to provide you with any additional information should you require. I am easily contactable at XXX and XXX. I really appreciate an interview opportunity with HSBC Vietnam. I am looking forward to hearing from you in the near future. Thank you for taking time to consider my application."

Undergraduate / An appeal letter for Business Management Admission ! [6]

This year I apply for the Singapore Management University with Business Management as my 1st choice and Information Systems as my 2nd choice.
I have been offer a place in the School of Information Systems but I wanted to appeal since I want to study Business much much more than IS

This is my draft one. I emphasize on my passion and my competence to pursue a degree in Business Management. However I found it not so convincing. I hope that you can help me correct, organize and contribute new ideas so that my appeal can be successful.

Every comment is appreciated.
Thank you!

Here is my draft :

Dear Admission Committee,
I am XXXX XXXX(application number XXXXXXXXXXX), 2009 bridging student. I am writing to you to appeal a re-consideration for my Business Management admission.

As I am informed, my Business Management admission has been unsuccessful due to the unsatisfactory interview results. However, I want to make an appeal since I believe I can perform better than I did on the interview day. Whenever I am not successful, I tell myself not to throw in the towel that easily but instead see it more of an obstacle that I had to face rather than to be defeated by it.

During the Bridging Course, I had no problem in communicating with others and my teaching consultants in English as well as Table Talk class told me that my writing and speaking skills were fine. Moreover, after receiving feedback, I have always been trying hard to perfect my skills, breeding the confidence within me to raise my voice and contribute more to class discussions. My instructor and also an academic writing teacher here at SMU, Prof. Mehdi Namazie once said: "You should have no problem in Business School". Despite the disadvantage of being not a native English speaker, on the SAT I was able to score 600 on Critical Reading and 710 on Writing - the prerequisite skills for tertiary education - which also reflects partly my capabilities. Having said all these, I am pretty confident that I am competent enough to pursue a degree in Business Management in SMU.

Apart from ability, it is the passion that matters. Just as what Dale Canergie said: "You will never achieve real success unless you love what you are doing", I strongly believe that as long as you do something passionately and whole-heartedly, you can give out your best, or even beyond your limit. Consequently and indubitably, dedication and good results will follow. My love for Business, especially in the field of Finance, has been long-standing since I was fifteen. It is my own belief that encouraged me to follow my dream, refusing to go to medical school as my parents had always wished. I took a risk: I left my current prestigious university in Vietnam and went to Singapore to take the bridging course. SMU is prominent for its business programs as well as its innovative, interactive and effective learning styles, which will enable me to take a firm foothold and embark on my future careers. All of these enhanced my determination to attend SMU Business School since I have always wanted to enrich my Business study experience. Honestly, in my perspective, studying business is more of an inborn interest so I want to study in the best way it can be taught. Thus, SMU Business School is the right choice, I reckon. The motivation behind all these things is my strong and long-lasting love for Business so I believe that with my eagerness I can even perform beyond my very best if I am given a chance to enter the School Of Business. I always motivate myself that despite the intimidating challenges that line up my path, I would never let myself give up easily the goals that matter most to me.

I would ask you to grant me the reconsideration for my Business Management admission. I appreciate the time you have taken to read my appeal and look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

XXXX XXXX