Posts by kevpang

kevpang

Dec 20, 2014

Undergraduate / An odd group of friends- Brown University Supplement Essay [8]

I really like your essay. I'm applying to Brown myself, and see my chances dim before you haha. Wish i had a bit of creative mind like you. Some grammatical things aside, i think your short answer is pretty much good to go.

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I hear the piercing sound of the school bell, signaling lunch. With astonishing speed, I pack my books and run down the stairs. I love the lunch break because I can spend time with my crazy band of friends (and eat lasagna).

To many outsiders, we're an odd mix of people. A prospective economics major sits sandwiched between a future surgeon and a biomedical engineer. A Coldplay worshiper eats peacefully with an advent anti-Chris Martin activist. (i don't know if you want to leave Coldplay in there; I had no idea what Coldplay was, and admissions officer might not either)

This table, packed with the quirkiest students in my school, means more to me than a box of assorted Godiva chocolates. This is where my individualism is welcomed rather than shunned. We learn from each other, developing more textured identities with each interaction. From them I have learned to appreciate who someone is, not what.

Maybe end with this sentence instead? === "I become more and more appreciative of the cultured environment I am graced to live in, and I look forward to an even more vivid community at Brown.

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Well, good luck, to both you and me. These essays are stressful :( What degree are you majoring at Brown? Mine would be Chemistry and maybe Mathmatics

kevpang

Dec 17, 2014

Undergraduate / New York bustles with millions of lives, each contributing to the city's own little universe [6]

NYU is global, urban, inspired, smart, connected, and bold. What can NYU offer you, and what can you offer NYU? (200-400 words)
(I am applying to NYU Stern)

A city like New York bustles with millions of lives, each contributing to the city's own little universe. Each school of study is like its own world, all of which is embedded within the realm that is NYU. Yet, what allows these individual little "worlds" to function as a single university like no other? Why can people with different academic pursuits and backgrounds stay so connected within NYU? The truth is that we are all bound by the same desire to make an impact in the world. In my eyes, NYU is a community where people from various backgrounds ultimately work together to demonstrate human excellence, despite their individual pursuits. Through my experiences, meaningful results do not simply come about by each person doing a separate part of a large project. To get an outcome that makes a significant impact, there needs to be a "coordinator" to coalesce the individual parts and interpret the final product. For instance, during my time at Rowan University, I helped performed multiple chemical experiments for a particular study. Although I diligently acquired results, they would've been meaningless without the interpretation of my supervising professor, who coordinated the series of experiments. Seeing how cooperation yielded important results, I aimed to generate an atmosphere of teamwork and enthusiasm wherever I studied. In my first meeting with the Ethics Team, we lacked basic coordination. My team suffered from incoherence and disorganization. That was when I combined our individual abilities, so we may deliver a winning presentation as a cooperative team. There are a great number of programs in NYU that require no less than the most diligent, enthusiastic, and cooperative people. In a world that becomes more and more intertwined with the aid of globalization, communicative and collaborative qualities have never been so important. I offer these traits willingly, so NYU and the world alike, can achieve a more prosperous and connected society. (316 words)

I really, really appreciate any criticism! My essay writing skills are rather rusty, and I could use alot of improvement!