Posts by SeebConnect

SeebConnect

Jul 6, 2009

Undergraduate / Undergraduate Review, "Newton" (Rutgers University) [7]

Thanks, Simone and Sean. I'll respond and question in order of replies. Simone, I love that you notice my personality come through my writing. Of course, it may be dry in certain areas.

Aside from the superb learning curve, Rutgers vibrant community simulates the diversity within reality.
What does this mean? For one, I don't think this is an apt use of the phrase "learning curve." Similarly, unless you are referring to ecological restoration efforts intended to increase biodiversity, "simulates the diversity within reality" doesn't make much sense.

I am crediting the college's position as a state university and as they mentioned a diversity, I want to give a reason as to how their diversity has impact on their students. That impact I believe has similiarities to reality in America (vast diversity). If it still does not make sense, i'll revise that sentence. In your opinion, would keeping any sentence with that similar meaning be wise in a college essay?

Sean, I mentioned my personal reading habits to allow the college to understand I do desire their education. Of course, I read for my personal enjoyment, but we both know reading is declining due to access of simpler forms of entertainment (visuals (video, games, movies)). Both you and Simone felt cautious about that content, should I consider mentioning I read a lot or I constantly practice reading a lot?

SeebConnect

Jul 2, 2009

Undergraduate / Undergraduate Review, "Newton" (Rutgers University) [7]

Hi, I would absolutely appreciate grammatical, and sent structure check. Also am I answering the question the university is asking? Am I simply discussing my reasoning to why I want to learn, and how the university would be an advantage? Thanks, best regards, Haseeb.

Essay: Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences.

UNDERGRAD ESSAY;

Millions saw the apple fall, Newton was the only one curious to know how. Newton's curiously questioned how. Led to his discovery, gravity. Applying this question of 'How?' to myself, has led me to my personal discovery, my burning desire for education. I educate myself with a respective formula of reading 30 pages daily, which calculates to 900 pages monthly, approximately 3 books. In the span of one year, I read 36 books of literature (3 books/month*12 months/year). Is my burning desire quenched? Absolutely not! I am consciously aware that thoughts, ideas, and attitudes are real, and that they are contagious. We will adopt the ideas, beliefs, and mindset of the people we spend the most time with (including the people found on TV, in books, or on tape), which will lead us to make similar decisions, which will lead to assume a similar life and lifestyle. A person's mindset is fluid. It's always changing with the ideas and interactions it comes into contact with on a daily basis. I want my mind to be amongst a diverse community. Attending Rutgers, a college with mixture and range will allow my intellect to develop. Aside from the superb learning curve, Rutgers vibrant community simulates the diversity within reality. The transaction from a student, to a profession will smoothly transpire. Of course, without balance, chaos exists. If I receive education from Rutgers University, I will be able to return a promise to contribute to my community. My focus, affirmations, and curiosity will always be present throughout my attendance. I have ideas to present for a prospective club on goal setting, creating affirmations, and personal development. Not merely wishful thinking or philosophy but the science of how our brain reacts in situations, firing neurons, releasing chemicals such as cortical, and behavior patterns to identify what is holds us back. I absolutely would be devoted to volunteer groups within the University. At the end of the day, I will sleep with peace knowing I exemplify our dynamic community. All this potential can be further explored once I enter an environment where minds seek growth. All these reasons has led me to my answer, I must be in Rutgers University to achieve my ambition to learn. Thank you for your time in reading my essay, best regards, Haseeb Shaida.

So let me know, positive criticism and corrections may begin :D