Undergraduate / 10 years reunion essay - Finding passion and happiness in a different country [NEW]

Prompt.
Imagine you have graduated from Temple University. You are preparing to attend your 10-year reunion, and the alumni office has asked you to write a one-page essay about your personal and professional accomplishments since graduation. What would yours say?

Ten years ago. being an international student getting accepted into Temple's Tyler school of art did not only mean a great educational opportunity, but also an all-encompassing novel experience. It meant going to the US, leaving my family, friends, and most everything that constituted what my life used be, and finding passion and happiness in a different country, among different people, and within the realms of a different language. It was exciting, amazing, and scary. Ten years afters, I'm happy to say that it was also every bit as captivating as I thought it would be.

Personal wise, my college experience at Tyler has equipped me with something valuable. The courage to follow my dreams, to go for it, to face the world and realize how beautiful it can be. During the past ten years I visited many places I always wanted to see. I visited Venice, Amsterdam, and Iceland, some as work trips and others as personal visits. I currently live here in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania with my amazing significant other, in our aesthetically pleasing two-story villa. It has a blue-painted reading room, full of our books on shelves in the shape of letters, my art studio room, a gaming station, and a large piano that I still haven't lost the passion of playing.

Academically, I've made it as a successful artist, graphic designer, and illustrator. By the time I was done in Tyler's art program I had assembled a significantly more powerful portfolio, which allowed me to work in several design firms. I currently have a job as a graphic designer in Red Interactive Agency; the full-service digital agency I've always dreamed of being a part of its team. I also illustrated and co-written an animation mini-series. I still love drawing. And a few years ago I drew a Mural in a large NYC building. I also tried experimenting in different creative fields, I wrote and adapted screenplay of my favorite local book "The Handsome Jew". It was authorized by the author and I went back to direct it. Despite many difficulties, the movie was made, and was renowned locally and internationally.

I'm proud of my work and what I accomplished so far. After ten years, I'm glad. Glad that I had faith in myself and went for an art school, despite those who doubted the idea, glad that I let art take me over. And most importantly, glad that I got out of my shell and experienced life.

oh and hopefully I haven't gone bald. Also half-life 3 was released, and George R.R martin finished The Winds of Winter (Probably not the last book though).

----------------

God that was a hard prompt. So how is it?

Here are my personal insecurities about this...
- Is it too sensationalized?
- The part about writing and directing a screenplay. Would that make my essay stand out, or is it just an unnecessary far-fetch?
- Would the thing about me staying in the US cause trouble? Because international student should go back and the F1 visa thing etc etc etc?

- Is the last line joke funny?

Undergraduate / What are you supposed to focus on in "10 years after graduation" essays? [2]

The prompt is "Imagine you have graduated from Temple University. You are preparing to attend your 10-year reunion, and the alumni office has asked you to write a one-page essay about your personal and professional accomplishments since graduation. What would yours say?"

At first, I took the prompt very literally. I was very specific. I toned it down but I still described exact things I want to have done, places to have visit and potential jobs, and even an ideal description on how I want my future house to look. It was very ambitious and specific. But people at CollegeConfidential told me setting a predetermined path might not be a good approach for this essay.

So I made another one where I tried to be broad and vague. Focused on how I grew up as a person, the set of skills I have achieved, and the relevance of my college years to it.

Which approach do you think is better for this one? Should I lose the specific too-ambitious tone?