Writing Feedback / Children can lead a better life if they gain the ability of both competition and cooperation [3]

I just begin my preparation of IELTS test. I am not so sure about my writing level, so I tried one and please help me to improve by giving some suggestions or feedbacks. Thank you!

Q:
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A:
Nowadays different people have different views about children's education. Some people think children ought to be taught how to compete in the society while others believe cooperation spirit is more useful in children's adult life. I think both views make sense depending on the specific situations.

Actually, a sense of competition is important for children's growing up. Children can adapt to the intense campus life as soon as they gain the ability of competition at school. They can concentrate on their study and get a better score through competition with their classmates. As a result, they increasingly build up self-confident and have ability to go ahead. Further, the competition ability benefits their sports. For example if two teams are on the soccer match, the team who has a competition sense is more likely to get succeed in the sports. The competition spirit makes them easy to win, which is good for their mental development.

However, cooperation is another important feature for children. Children have to work together and learn from each other to get improved at school. The study group is a wonderful way to teach them how to cooperate with classmates. It helps students to find the advantages of other people and learn from them. The students may get to know each other and become friends through the study group. As a result, they will gain more knowledge and learning skills. Besides, Cooperation can improve the children's social skills when they become adult. They are easy to work closely with their colleagues and make more friends when they grow up. Obviously, this teamwork skill could help them to perform better in their career.

In conclusion, the ability of competition is important as well as cooperation. Children can lead a better life if they gain all the two important skills.