Posts by Hoaduong2012

Hoaduong2012

Jan 5, 2015

Writing Feedback / Concern about judging criminals with the death penalty [3]

Dear Bigger,

Below are some comments. Bold text means that I have no ideas about them but they sound weird. I hope that it may help you.

This essay is aimed to prove this by analyzing the impact to on the economy as well as life in prison in modifed world.

One thing that is of great significance is that having criminals in prison affects the economy in many ways. As an example ~~that supports~~ to support this view is that criminals in prison are the people who need to be cared regularly as long as they are released. Moreover, the government has to ~~spent most of its money to prisoners by pirchasing meals, clothes and other ithems~~ allocate part of its budget to offer prisoners meals, clothes and other items. Thw ovious flaw in this view is to maintain those criminals in prison. After analyzing this it is clear why serious criminals should not be kept alive.

Another, equally important fraction is that the life in prison is too soft. ~~The most familiar example would be~~ For instance, prisons in developed ~~word~~ countries are providing their prisoners with comfortable environment such as sport ~~equipments~~ equipment, TVs, and other facilities ~~towards those criminals~~ . There is ~~absolutely no reason~~ unjustified to create this enjoyable environment to those criminals as a human being does not have even if he does work. As a result, the number of criminals will not be declined unless those prisons exist.

Following the examination of ~~economical spendings~~ government spending and softness of prison, we may draw the conclusion that serious criminals should not be saved or sent to prison, ~~intead~~ instead they must be sentenced to death. ~~And, It is hoped~~ Hopefully, these options will remain in the future.[/quote]

Hoaduong2012

Jan 4, 2015

Scholarship / "The only way to do great job is to love what you do" - this statement became my lodestar [2]

Why do you deserve this scholarship_Application for Strategic Marketing? 1- page essay

Dear everyone,

I am a newcomer. I would be very much obliged to receive your contribution to my scholarship essay as below. Thank you ^_^

Dear Selection Committee,

"The only way to do great job is to love what you do" - a famous statement of Steve Jobs has become my lodestar since I first successfully applied it in studying. I believe that what I have done successfully are what I do with great interest and they include marketing.

I was born in a working-class family in which my parents are small vegetable shopkeepers in a small market. The low regular income was just enough for us to make a decent living. Though received substandard education, my parents realized the importance of education in developing a person; thus, they make every effort to ensure me and my sibling of formal education. Witnessing hardship due to lack of education around, I am very committed to my study since I was a child. My effort was paid off when I was always one of the most excellent students in class and consequently, passed the university entrance examination, making my parents really proud of.

Living in the market prompted me to enroll in the economic faculty in XXX University. Yet, I felt exhausting and depressed at the beginning due to the new studying working environment in general and English in particular when my entrance TOEIC was just 205, the lowest level. I was offered advice that I should concentrate on other subjects and escape the pressure of English which they believed that I do not have an instinct for. However, I appreciated the advice but persistently tried various ways to fall in love with it and as a result, I got TOEIC 905, the international professional efficiency and moved to the top students, receiving the scholarship for top 10% excellent students in 2011. Beyond my strong academic, I also actively involved in extracurricular activities. I am especially interested in communication activities in which I can share my knowledge, experience and information. These activities turned me into an active, enthusiastic person and strengthened my interpersonal and communication skills.

After graduation, I was able to find a job in a logistic company with my first-class honor degree as my schoolmates were. However, I figured out that I am not fond of logistics, which I had a chance to experience in the obligatory internship. A job after graduation was essential to alleviate financial burden for my parents, and I came to marketing accidentally when I was introduced to be an intern, supporting a brand manager. My manager managed company's brand products as her own spiritual child, nourishing them day by day by strategic execution and plans. Witnessing her works, a dream to bring a brand up emerged in me. But, how can I help my brand competitive and protect it from other rivals when there is a vast majority of seemly similar products available in the market? Keeping this dream inside my heart, I have continued to work in marketing. After two years, I feel that I am coming nearer but still far away from whom I want to be. In some cases, I would come up with better solutions if I was well-equipped with comprehensive marketing knowledge. I recognized that further education abroad which gives me a chance to interact with other people and learn from them will pave the way for my expected career.

All in all, I strongly believe that my attitudes towards studying and determination to marketing will help me overcome any obstacles I may come across. Yet, financial burden is my main concern. I hope that my application will be favorably considered and I will receive essential financial aids from you.