Book Reports / Life of Pi Analysis of the Sloth [narrator's rhetorical techniques] [2]

This is a beautiful essay, and really I don't have much to recommend as far as grammar. All your sentences flow very well, and your punctuation is good. However, you might consider lessening your use of semi-colons. They are very tricky to use correctly, and when possible it's normally a good practice to split the sentence into two sentences. I would particularly recommend this for your thesis ("Pi's admiration [...] nature.") so that it stands out on its own.

My biggest tip would be: Don't forget to source your material! Some professors will consider it plagiarism if you do not have references for your quotes. The standard for literature is MLA. There are a lot of thorough guides online (more thorough than I can give in a comment), but the most important thing is to have the author and page number credited at the end of a sentence where you've quoted someone.

For example:
According to him, "sleepiness and slothfulness keep it out of harm's way," away from the predatory grasps of the various dangers of the jungle ([AUTHOR'S NAME] [PAGE NUMBER].

Writing Feedback / Growing numbers of people send their offspring to study in other countries - it has its detractors [2]

Really good essay! You do a good job of drawing on your experience (especially with the example of your sister), and talking about the pros and cons. My recommendations are mostly minor grammar tweaks.


I think you might mean "assure" (as in, to convince themselves)


Try to combine these two sentences, to avoid fragmented sentences. (You might replace the period with a comma.)


To correct the subject-verb agreement, change to "forces" (phenomena = plural, so "forces").


This sentence is a little confusing right now. Consider swapping your word choice, possibly to say: "the specific country where the child goes will impart abundant knowledge."


This is a comma splice. Consider making the sentence stronger by connecting the two phrases: "If you are not able to make friends in a certain country, then loneliness might overwhelm you."


For clarity, you might say, "I side with the community."

Undergraduate / Shortcomings is not a limit / Geophysical Engineering - Student Conference Application [4]

Great job expanding on what you've learned!

Just a quick tweak, and I think you'll be in good shape:

Writing Feedback / Parents vital role in controlling their children attitude about food preferences and lifestyles [3]

Looks like a good essay! I've commented below on a few grammar errors, and provided direction to help you correct them.


You can simplify this sentence and fix the tense by saying: "obese children has increased".


This has a comma splice, which means you should either strengthen the conjunction (", and one") or have it as its own sentence. You might also want to change "this" to "them".


You could clarify this sentence with a little tweaking, like, "more meals than they actually need, many of which are unhealthy".


You could simply this sentence by saying, "One of the major drawbacks of this problem is children's well-being."


Should be "their" cholesterol.


Should be plural - "diseases".


Don't forget apostrophes - "sons' or daughters' attitude".


You can clarify this sentence by removing "where they" - "like a couch potato"


This should be in past tense, so "should be managed seriously"

Good luck editing! You're nearly there.

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 1: Unpaid works and people who squander time on them! [2]

This is very good! Your analysis is very clear. I've just recommended a few changes in the wording, to make your meaning clearer for your reader.


This phrase is a little unclear. Perhaps try something like: by people who with children aged 1-3, and by people without children.


"Works" should be "work" (this happens again in the next sentence). To simplify the second part of the sentence, try: while with married men the opposite is true.


To clarify, swap the order: married women with children three years old and older...

Undergraduate / Shortcomings is not a limit / Geophysical Engineering - Student Conference Application [4]

I think this is a great start! You definitely answered the prompt as far as why you choose your education path. I think there is still a little missing about the most important lesson you've learned. I think maybe it's already in your essay (I'm not sure if it is the lessons you've learned about teamwork with your fellow students, or if it is the practical lessons you've learned about gas exploration), but you could clarify it. Simply say, "The most important lesson I've learned so far is____", where the blank is the lesson.

Undergraduate / 'Over the metal door, there is a world of darkness and silence' - describe your place essay [3]

This is a beautiful piece! I loved reading about your special place, and the magic there. Below I've recommended some grammar and punctuation changes. I hope you find it helpful.


Do you mean beyond the metal door? (Is it above the door, or on the other side of the door?)





If you'd like to replace "pleasurable," perhaps try saying: "The view became better and more pleasant."


Your meaning here could be clarified. Perhaps try: "I felt uneasy."


You could simplify this sentence by saying, "my bright, warm dormitory room." Or, if you want to keep the degrees, spell it out completely ("my bright, twenty-three degrees dormitory room").

Writing Feedback / TELL ME ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE TV PROGRAMME ? [5]

Hello! Below I've listed a few changes you might make to correct the grammar.

"Of all the TV programmes I've seen"

Whenever you say the title of the show, it should be in italics (not quotation marks).

You might consider specifying what type of show this is in your second paragraph. (Is it a reality tv show, or a game show?) This would help clarify the response for readers who aren't familiar with Overcome Myself.

"over one thousand families have improved their lives" - To show the programme's correlation to this, try flipping the phrase: "and has improved the lives of over one thousand families"

" interesting ?" - Take out the space before the question mark.

Good luck with your revision! Keep up the good work!