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Posts by Marsya_EF
Name: Marsya Nurbudhi
Joined: Mar 24, 2015
Last Post: Mar 26, 2015
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  

From: Indonesia
School: Telkom University

Displayed posts: 2
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Marsya_EF   
Mar 26, 2015
Writing Feedback / Advertisements lead people to spend money lavishly without further thinking. Ads effects on people. [3]

Hi Tia, thank you for you correction on my writing.
I have proofread my writing several times but I still do a lot of mistakes eventually :(

While, many people believe that it may encourages societies to buy unnecessary product, others argue that advertisements can provide important information about the latest products which may be beneficial for people' lives.

This is my thesis statement where I try to paraphrase the given statement. Nevertheless I do agree with your pattern since I also try to use that pattern on my writing :)
Marsya_EF   
Mar 25, 2015
Writing Feedback / Advertisements lead people to spend money lavishly without further thinking. Ads effects on people. [3]

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In this day and age, advertising plays an important role in business life since it is one of the valuable tools that help companies to increase their selling. While, many people believe that it may encourages societies to buy unnecessary product, others argue that advertisements can provide important information about the latest products which may beneficial for people' lives. Furthermore, I admit that advertisements lead people to spend money lavishly without further thinking.

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