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Advertisements lead people to spend money lavishly without further thinking. Ads effects on people.


Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In this day and age, advertising plays an important role in business life since it is one of the valuable tools that help companies to increase their selling. While, many people believe that it may encourages societies to buy unnecessary product, others argue that advertisements can provide important information about the latest products which may beneficial for people' lives. Furthermore, I admit that advertisements lead people to spend money lavishly without further thinking.
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Mar 25, 2015   #2
In this day and age, advertising plays an important role in business life modern business since it is one of the valuable tools that help companies to increase their selling. While, many people believe that it may encourages societies to buy unnecessary product, others argue that advertisements can provide important information about the latest products which may be beneficial for people' lives.(1) Furthermore, I admit that advertisements lead people to spend money lavishly without further thinking adopt consumer culture.

While government has to introduce the fixed punishment, individuals have to act for solving this problem. (periodic sentence, you can use this pattern to state the thesis statement.)
Advertisements benefit some companies while consumers are manipulated to buy the new products.

Many products which are offered by many companies may result confusion on in consumers' mind. Therefore (put comma here) advertisement (try to be consistent = advertisements) can help people to choose which product that meet meets their needs since advertisements contain useful information. For instance, Carrefour as the giant retail company offers many goods to be chosen by the customers. If the customers have never seen advertisements about several products that available in the supermarket, the customers will have difficulty to make decision. As a result (put comma) the customers will waste their time by reading the information on packaging.

However, advertisement have has a power to persuade people to buy unnecessary goods since marketing department will practice so much effort to make the product appear more attractive in order to catch the customer attention. As a result, people will buy the product right away after seeing the advertisement.

In one body paragraph at least you have to write 3 sentences. Topic sentence, an example, and conclusion.

In addition, many famous celebrities have play an important role in the advertisement. (use transition to polish flow sentence; For example)The fans of the celebrities will follow what celebrities use even only in the advertisement. The well-known celebrities will attract many fans to buy the products. In many occasions, the fans have no idea about the products and only focus on their favorite celebrities.
Hi Tia, thank you for you correction on my writing.
I have proofread my writing several times but I still do a lot of mistakes eventually :(

While, many people believe that it may encourages societies to buy unnecessary product, others argue that advertisements can provide important information about the latest products which may be beneficial for people' lives.

This is my thesis statement where I try to paraphrase the given statement. Nevertheless I do agree with your pattern since I also try to use that pattern on my writing :)
Mar 26, 2015   #4
This is my thesis statement where I try to paraphrase the given statement. Nevertheless I do agree with your pattern since I also try to use that pattern on my writing :)

My pleasure Marsya, my main point is not about your thesis statement, but it is about how to use "while" properly. if you have ielts buddy book - writing task 2, you can see how to use while in the 86. there is no comma after "while".
Hello,
Please see my edits below. I have made suggestions for some of your sentences. Some of them are awkward sounding, so I thought I could give some ideas to make it sound better. Please use these ideas for the rest of the essay too.
Overall, you portray your idea clearly and you clearly portray what side of the argument you are on.
Keep up the hard work and I hope this helps


In this day and age, advertising plays an important role in business life since it is one of the valuable tools that help companiesis a valuable business tool that helps companies to increase their sellingprofit.

While, many people believe that it may encourages societies peopleto buy unnecessary product, others argue that advertisements can provide important information about the latest products which may beneficial for people' lives.

Furthermore, I admit that advertisements lead people to spend money lavishly without further thinking. I think this is your thesis, but you should make it more of a declarative sentence ex
However, evidence suggests that many of the advertisements displayed today lead people to spend money lavishly without considering the consequences.


Many products which are offered by many companies may result confusion on consumers' mind. Therefore advertisements can help people to choose which product that meet their need since advertisements contain useful information. advertisments help the customer understand the product better.
  Closed ✓


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