Posts by monikan19

monikan19

Apr 15, 2015

Writing Feedback / IELTS essay; as long as we want to live in a free society, the freedom of speech should be respected [7]

@sblack
Thank you for your corrections.
Regarding your question - of course free speech should be a right. I should have made a more clear statement.
And I suppose that "dissapear" should be spelt "disappear", shouldn't it? But of course it only a little mistake. :)

monikan19

Apr 15, 2015

Writing Feedback / IELTS essay; as long as we want to live in a free society, the freedom of speech should be respected [7]

@EF_Kevin
Thank you! To be honest, I was already told that I simple sentences are better and I really try to use them. But probably I should do it more often. :)

@MuhammadImho
Actually, I always follow this structure. Isn't it clear in my essey?
Introduction - Assuredly, it is an absolute necessity in a free society and, by all account, it is allowed to restrict this right. - if I replace Assuredly with In my opinion/I believe etc, do you think that it will be better?

Body - there are three paragraphs that I made to give examples and justify my statement
Conclusion - and again, isn't my opinion clear?

I hope you don't mind my questions. I just would like to have it explained.

monikan19

Apr 14, 2015

Writing Feedback / IELTS essay; as long as we want to live in a free society, the freedom of speech should be respected [7]

It's my first post here so first of all, hello everybody! :)
I'm having my IELTS exam this weekend. I've been preparing on my own, including practising essays, so I don't really know what I should think about my works. This is the newest one. I'll appreciate every single advice, especially if anybody could assess (approximately of course) which band I could achieve.

TOPIC:
Write about the following topic:
Is freedom of speech necessary in a free society?
Give reasons for your answer.

In the 21st century most of the countries in the world is ruled according to democracy. This type of politicy provides nationals with many rights, for instance, freedom of speech. Assuredly, it is an absolute necessity in a free society and, by all account, it is allowed to restrict this right.

First of all, refering to mentioned political issues, freedom of speech is a way to know opinions of the whole society. In the result, it is the easiest solution to avoid a regime of one political option. Moreover, in the long run, it also disables changing the system, for example, by replacing it with authoritarianism. Thereupon, the one right preserves other rights as well.

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