Sebhoom
May 3, 2015
Speeches / What Matters Most to Me and Why?------The will to survive [4]
Ladies and gentlemen,
The very fact that I'm alive and here to make a speech is a miracle of life itself. Granted this precious chance, I'd like to tell you the one thing that matters to me the most---the will to survive. 3 years ago I nearly lost my life to the hand of Death in the act of an unseccessful suicide. At that time, I suffered a mild depression over something I couldn't change, a depression that practically ruined my life from the inside out. Just as every depressed person would do, I shut myself in and refused to reach out to whoever around me. Being a rather quiet person, I never drew much attention and nor did my depression. But soon things were going worse that I began to allow the desperation to consume myself and even conduct my own death in my mind. In this one very clear morning, I woke up in tears and despair. And the next thing I knew, I was on a bridge wanting to jump off. With great fear, I did jump. And all I could feel was the roaring wind slicing my ear and then the pounding of the cold water against my skin. Unable to close my mouth, I was choked by the water rushing into my lungs and my head was filled with pain beyond words. But soon it was taken over by the will to survive. All thoughts about life were gone except that I had to swim to the bank. And I did.
As a pheonix rises from the ash, I found my rebirth from the river. I survived and I changed after going through the pain I've never had before. From the greatest pain I gathered the greatest strengths. Since then I've grown to see that life is the water that's constantly trying to drown me. My will to survive gives me the anchor that I can always use to drag myself back to the bank as long as I hold on to it. Throughout the years, I succeed as much as I fail in many things. There are still all kinds of frustration and disappointment that force to give up on what's impossile yet I really desire. But what I learn from my past is that nothing is worse than the loss of one's life. To say one has to conquer all is a gross understatement because one can always turn away and swim to the bank to see a much better world from far beyond.
Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen,
The very fact that I'm alive and here to make a speech is a miracle of life itself. Granted this precious chance, I'd like to tell you the one thing that matters to me the most---the will to survive. 3 years ago I nearly lost my life to the hand of Death in the act of an unseccessful suicide. At that time, I suffered a mild depression over something I couldn't change, a depression that practically ruined my life from the inside out. Just as every depressed person would do, I shut myself in and refused to reach out to whoever around me. Being a rather quiet person, I never drew much attention and nor did my depression. But soon things were going worse that I began to allow the desperation to consume myself and even conduct my own death in my mind. In this one very clear morning, I woke up in tears and despair. And the next thing I knew, I was on a bridge wanting to jump off. With great fear, I did jump. And all I could feel was the roaring wind slicing my ear and then the pounding of the cold water against my skin. Unable to close my mouth, I was choked by the water rushing into my lungs and my head was filled with pain beyond words. But soon it was taken over by the will to survive. All thoughts about life were gone except that I had to swim to the bank. And I did.
As a pheonix rises from the ash, I found my rebirth from the river. I survived and I changed after going through the pain I've never had before. From the greatest pain I gathered the greatest strengths. Since then I've grown to see that life is the water that's constantly trying to drown me. My will to survive gives me the anchor that I can always use to drag myself back to the bank as long as I hold on to it. Throughout the years, I succeed as much as I fail in many things. There are still all kinds of frustration and disappointment that force to give up on what's impossile yet I really desire. But what I learn from my past is that nothing is worse than the loss of one's life. To say one has to conquer all is a gross understatement because one can always turn away and swim to the bank to see a much better world from far beyond.
Thank you.
