Writing Feedback / Rich countries should give the poorer other types of help instead of a money. How do you see that? [7]

Hello,
I am working on an IELTS essay about financial aid to poor countries. It is supposed to be written in 40 minutes, with at least 250 words. Could you please give me your advice/comments on my essay below? Thanks so much.

Question: The money given to help poor countries does not solve the problem of poverty, so rich countries should give other types of help instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essay:
It is true that an enormous amount of money has been poured into impoverished nations to help them escape from poverty. While this solution is sometimes effective, I personally believe that financial aid does not fully tackle the problem, and other types of aid need to be implemented.

Firstly, money given to destitute nations does not always reach people in need. In developing countries, lack of transparency and an ineffective management system has enabled prevalent corruption in government body. It is therefore likely that monetary support from other countries would bring about benefits to only governmental officials instead of the poor.

Another problem with giving out money is that in most cases recipient countries do not have necessary resources such as manpower, technology, infrastructure or management system in place to make the best use of financial aid. For instance, in my country, a large amount of money from foreign governments was spent on building health care centers in rural areas , but those centers were soon abandoned or operated at less than one tenth capacity due to lack of health care professionals, lack of electricity and clean water, etc. Another illustration would be in agricultural field. We received monetary support from international funds to increase productivity of crops, but we had no experience in conducting researches before implementing a project, in project management and evaluation. As a consequence, large amount of money was wasted on ineffective programs proposed by incompetent leaders.

Furthermore, it is undeniable that financial aid can sometimes do more harm than good, worsen the situation in poor countries. Some developed countries gave out monetary support to ruling oligarchy in some African countries under the name of economic development, but for hindered political reasons as well. They might want to gain international preference, to win support from their citizens before election, or to enhance their political influence in recipient countries, etc. In such cases how the money would be spent was not their concern. Leaders in recipient countries therefore used the money to strengthen their position, by enriching themselves or purchasing weapons to suppress opponents. Had it not been for the financial aid, people in these poor countries might have been able to overthrown their incompetent, greedy authority. Financial aid in this case became an obstacle for revolutions against dictatorship, social progress and poverty eradication.

In conclusion, monetary support alone could not eliminate poverty/ Other types of help such as technological support, staff training, infrastructure development and management system improvement is required to handle the problem.