shawnxk
Jun 12, 2015
Writing Feedback / In addition to the money from retirement, people should get more governmental support [5]
Thank you ChristineB. It does help me！
Thank you ChristineB. It does help me！
shawnxk
Jun 10, 2015
Writing Feedback / In addition to the money from retirement, people should get more governmental support [5]
shintacandrate, thank you so much for your corrections.
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Can anybody tell me what band this essay can get in IELTS? I intend to take IELTS two months later, and I find writing is the most difficult part for me. I read the band descriptors for writing task2 though, it's still hard to mark my essay on my own.
Really appreciate.
shintacandrate, thank you so much for your corrections.
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Can anybody tell me what band this essay can get in IELTS? I intend to take IELTS two months later, and I find writing is the most difficult part for me. I read the band descriptors for writing task2 though, it's still hard to mark my essay on my own.
Really appreciate.
shawnxk
Jun 9, 2015
Writing Feedback / In addition to the money from retirement, people should get more governmental support [5]
Essay topic: Governments should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Today, population ageing becomes popular in many countries. Although I accept that people should save for retirement, I do not agree that the government do not need to provide any public service to the retired people.
As working adults pay taxes to the government, the government has the responsibility to provide healthcare and state pension to them after they retire. Retired elderly people often have no income and they may face financial difficulties because of the rising living costs. It means that they may not be able to afford basic needs, such as food, housing and healthcare. With the government's financial support, these people's lives can be easier. Also, it can benefit the country's economy if the government provides a safety net for elderly people. In this situation, people are more confident in their future life and therefore they are more willing to consume, which plays an important role in the economic growth.
On the other hand, it is not realistic and practical for the government to cover all the needs of senior citizens. Ageing population means that less working people who pay taxes and more retired people who receive state pension. This puts great financial pressure on the government. The government has other important concerns, such as education, unemployment and national security. As a result, the money allocated to elderly people should be restricted to a reasonable level.
In my view, people should save money for their retirement life, while the government should also fund their basic living needs after they retire.
Essay topic: Governments should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Today, population ageing becomes popular in many countries. Although I accept that people should save for retirement, I do not agree that the government do not need to provide any public service to the retired people.
As working adults pay taxes to the government, the government has the responsibility to provide healthcare and state pension to them after they retire. Retired elderly people often have no income and they may face financial difficulties because of the rising living costs. It means that they may not be able to afford basic needs, such as food, housing and healthcare. With the government's financial support, these people's lives can be easier. Also, it can benefit the country's economy if the government provides a safety net for elderly people. In this situation, people are more confident in their future life and therefore they are more willing to consume, which plays an important role in the economic growth.
On the other hand, it is not realistic and practical for the government to cover all the needs of senior citizens. Ageing population means that less working people who pay taxes and more retired people who receive state pension. This puts great financial pressure on the government. The government has other important concerns, such as education, unemployment and national security. As a result, the money allocated to elderly people should be restricted to a reasonable level.
In my view, people should save money for their retirement life, while the government should also fund their basic living needs after they retire.
