Essay topic: Governments should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Today, population ageing becomes popular in many countries. Although I accept that people should save for retirement, I do not agree that the government do not need to provide any public service to the retired people.
As working adults pay taxes to the government, the government has the responsibility to provide healthcare and state pension to them after they retire. Retired elderly people often have no income and they may face financial difficulties because of the rising living costs. It means that they may not be able to afford basic needs, such as food, housing and healthcare. With the government's financial support, these people's lives can be easier. Also, it can benefit the country's economy if the government provides a safety net for elderly people. In this situation, people are more confident in their future life and therefore they are more willing to consume, which plays an important role in the economic growth.
On the other hand, it is not realistic and practical for the government to cover all the needs of senior citizens. Ageing population means that less working people who pay taxes and more retired people who receive state pension. This puts great financial pressure on the government. The government has other important concerns, such as education, unemployment and national security. As a result, the money allocated to elderly people should be restricted to a reasonable level.
In my view, people should save money for their retirement life, while the government should also fund their basic living needs after they retire.
Retired elderly people often have small income and even no income and so they may face financial difficulties because ofdue to the rising living costs
AlsoLikewise , it can benefit the country's economy if the government provides a safety net for elderly people.
In my viewTo sum up , people should save money for their retirement lifelives,(in using while, commonly people use these patterns: While SV, SV. or SV while SV.) while the government should also fund their basic living needs after they retire without burdening allocation for other governmental primary sectors .
Hope it helps. Good luck!
shintacandrate, thank you so much for your corrections.
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Can anybody tell me what band this essay can get in IELTS? I intend to take IELTS two months later, and I find writing is the most difficult part for me. I read the band descriptors for writing task2 though, it's still hard to mark my essay on my own.
Really appreciate.
Hello, shawnxk. I can't answer your question about IELTS score, but I do have some more suggestions on how to make your essay sound clear:
Today,populationPopulation ageing has becomebecomes popularan important issue in many countries. Although I accept that people should save for retirement, I do not agree that the government doshould not need to provide any assistance or public service to the retired people.
As working adults pay taxes to the government, the government has the responsibility to provide healthcare and state pensionpensions to them after they retire. Retired, elderly people often have no income and theytherefore may face financial difficulties because of the rising cost of living costs . ItThis means that they may not be able to afford basic needs, such as food, housing, and healthcare... In this situation, people are more confident inabout their futurefutureslife and, therefore,they are more willing to consume. ,; thiswhich plays an important role in the economic growth.
...An ageing population means thatconsists of less working people who are working and payingpay taxes and more retired people who are retired and receiving areceive state pension...
In my view, people should save money for their retirement life , while the government should also fund their basic living needs afterthey during the retire.retirement years.
I hope this has helped you!
Thank you ChristineB. It does help me！
