Nilesh99
Jul 16, 2015
Undergraduate / STELLAR ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE IN THE AISSE - Penn State Application Personal Statement [3]
I revised it and changed the conclusion and excluded the details you told me to. Still, its 650 words.
After my grandfather exiled us out of the house, right after I was born, I, along with my mother and father, started living in a remote village from Kolkata, where the light of education had not yet reached. In such a village, most of the people were illiterate, superstitious, and conventional. They had no dreams and education was a far cry for them. The villagers had a very parochial view of life. They had only one goal---"Plough and live". People who had dreams and tried to live as per their wish, instead of being exhorted, were actually pulled down by the villagers, and even, I was no exception.
When I started going to a good school in the city, next to the village, the villagers started to look at me with disdain, as if, I had done something horrible. However, I didn't care about what others thought of me and continued my studies. Although I somehow managed to get past class 9 without facing some serious problems, I faced a major problem in class 10. Because the village had no libraries, I had no access to some updated books and official tests, required for my upcoming board exams. So, a smart phone, with the internet, was my only hope and source to get some of them. However, as I started using smart phone, I became a victim of the villagers' pranks and bullies.
Because using technologies was against the conventions of the villagers, they included me in their hot list. I was already having a hard time to continue my studies in the shades of the village, and this event made the situation even worse. No matter where I went in the village, I was called SPOILED. I was even seen as a TRAITOR for breaking the norms and was deprived from playing with other boys of the village. Such actions had such an impact on my life that they messed up my studies and peaceful sleeps. My mom, who was worried about my board exams next month, advised me not to pay attention to third parties and focus on studies. However, it was easier said than done. The resistance of the villagers to my studies and use of modern technology, like smart phones, was continuously increasing. My father's negotiations with the villagers failed as they restricted me from using my smart phone because, in their opinion, technology was BALEFUL.
Seeing my exams were knocking at the door, I decided to make the villagers' lift up their restrictions. So, I, along with my school and two others, organized a seminar and awareness program to make the villagers aware about the stupidity of their deep-rooted traditions. Although we were not 100% successful, we were at least able to make the villagers aware that technology wasn't harmful.
Right after the seminar ended, I got a call from my mother which made me realize that I was running out of time, and a dark cloud of anxiety started swirling over my head as I remembered about my exams. However, I believed in myself and, within the limited time, somehow finished my preparations and gave the exams, and scored cent percent marks, thereby getting honored by the President.
Hence, owing to all of the of the challenges that I have faced in my life in order to get to this point, I feel that I am well prepared for the academic and social challenges that Penn State will throw my way. Throughout my life, I have learned that individuals can make the best of a bad situation and triumph in the future. After all, negative situations, like what I have faced, don't define us, but definitely makes us stronger. By not giving up and believing in myself under the arsenal of resistances and lack of resources, I have learned the importance of determination, which has prepared me for this moment in my life. I know that the perfect combination of my past, present, and future experiences will translate into my successful academic career at Penn State.
So, how is it?
I revised it and changed the conclusion and excluded the details you told me to. Still, its 650 words.
After my grandfather exiled us out of the house, right after I was born, I, along with my mother and father, started living in a remote village from Kolkata, where the light of education had not yet reached. In such a village, most of the people were illiterate, superstitious, and conventional. They had no dreams and education was a far cry for them. The villagers had a very parochial view of life. They had only one goal---"Plough and live". People who had dreams and tried to live as per their wish, instead of being exhorted, were actually pulled down by the villagers, and even, I was no exception.
When I started going to a good school in the city, next to the village, the villagers started to look at me with disdain, as if, I had done something horrible. However, I didn't care about what others thought of me and continued my studies. Although I somehow managed to get past class 9 without facing some serious problems, I faced a major problem in class 10. Because the village had no libraries, I had no access to some updated books and official tests, required for my upcoming board exams. So, a smart phone, with the internet, was my only hope and source to get some of them. However, as I started using smart phone, I became a victim of the villagers' pranks and bullies.
Because using technologies was against the conventions of the villagers, they included me in their hot list. I was already having a hard time to continue my studies in the shades of the village, and this event made the situation even worse. No matter where I went in the village, I was called SPOILED. I was even seen as a TRAITOR for breaking the norms and was deprived from playing with other boys of the village. Such actions had such an impact on my life that they messed up my studies and peaceful sleeps. My mom, who was worried about my board exams next month, advised me not to pay attention to third parties and focus on studies. However, it was easier said than done. The resistance of the villagers to my studies and use of modern technology, like smart phones, was continuously increasing. My father's negotiations with the villagers failed as they restricted me from using my smart phone because, in their opinion, technology was BALEFUL.
Seeing my exams were knocking at the door, I decided to make the villagers' lift up their restrictions. So, I, along with my school and two others, organized a seminar and awareness program to make the villagers aware about the stupidity of their deep-rooted traditions. Although we were not 100% successful, we were at least able to make the villagers aware that technology wasn't harmful.
Right after the seminar ended, I got a call from my mother which made me realize that I was running out of time, and a dark cloud of anxiety started swirling over my head as I remembered about my exams. However, I believed in myself and, within the limited time, somehow finished my preparations and gave the exams, and scored cent percent marks, thereby getting honored by the President.
Hence, owing to all of the of the challenges that I have faced in my life in order to get to this point, I feel that I am well prepared for the academic and social challenges that Penn State will throw my way. Throughout my life, I have learned that individuals can make the best of a bad situation and triumph in the future. After all, negative situations, like what I have faced, don't define us, but definitely makes us stronger. By not giving up and believing in myself under the arsenal of resistances and lack of resources, I have learned the importance of determination, which has prepared me for this moment in my life. I know that the perfect combination of my past, present, and future experiences will translate into my successful academic career at Penn State.
So, how is it?
