Xuraj
Aug 1, 2015
Undergraduate / My contribution to Pomona College's comes from my own life experiences. [5]
I agree with @MSP1998
You should completely delete 1st para.
Also, additionally, instead of diversifying your essay to touch your whole life, you should focus on one point/experience of your life that "separates" you.
My suggestion is that you write on a life event that you vividly remember -It does not have to be life shattering. This essay test your ability to represent -write- yourself as a suitable candidate. So, it would be easy if you focus on one event and write the experience gained from it.
I see 3 possible essays, focus on one point:
-- peers at high school who potentially reflect immigration problems by not being U.S citizens --- most useful to answer this prompt.
--I have seen my uncles having everything to losing everything and seeing the signs of the foreclosures on their homes. -- describe it. Write how "sporadic" life really is...
-- My parents came to the United States when I was only five, they suffer not just financial hardships but also discriminatory cases . There were often times, where there was nothing to eat or worst, days without eating; when I came there were times I did not eat myself while seeing the tears on my mother's face. All they had brought was a couple dollars since "pesos" are not of much worth. I came in two years later, and like my parents had no knowledge of what might come ahead or the English language. I would often see my parents cry because of our situation, and the feeling they had thinking they were failing to accomplish the American Dream. ---------- This can be your(having sad story generally helps. But, your writing should be able appeal emotions, but it should not be too "rhuig".). common app. prompt
I agree with @MSP1998
You should completely delete 1st para.
Also, additionally, instead of diversifying your essay to touch your whole life, you should focus on one point/experience of your life that "separates" you.
My suggestion is that you write on a life event that you vividly remember -It does not have to be life shattering. This essay test your ability to represent -write- yourself as a suitable candidate. So, it would be easy if you focus on one event and write the experience gained from it.
I see 3 possible essays, focus on one point:
-- peers at high school who potentially reflect immigration problems by not being U.S citizens --- most useful to answer this prompt.
--I have seen my uncles having everything to losing everything and seeing the signs of the foreclosures on their homes. -- describe it. Write how "sporadic" life really is...
-- My parents came to the United States when I was only five, they suffer not just financial hardships but also discriminatory cases . There were often times, where there was nothing to eat or worst, days without eating; when I came there were times I did not eat myself while seeing the tears on my mother's face. All they had brought was a couple dollars since "pesos" are not of much worth. I came in two years later, and like my parents had no knowledge of what might come ahead or the English language. I would often see my parents cry because of our situation, and the feeling they had thinking they were failing to accomplish the American Dream. ---------- This can be your(having sad story generally helps. But, your writing should be able appeal emotions, but it should not be too "rhuig".). common app. prompt
