Bao Tran
Aug 6, 2015
Writing Feedback / A gap year might bring both benefits and severe detrimental effect to students - IELTS essay [3]
Please help me check grammar in this essay and give me some feedbacks. Thank you so much.
In some countries young people are encouraged to work or to travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this
In the 21st century, in several nations, most of the students graduating from high schools are motivated to spend a year on seeking a job or taking a trip before they begin a new life at universities. This raises a certain question about whether this trend brings benefits or drawbacks to the juniors. A number of advantages and disadvantages will be analyzed.
Firstly, students can recharge their power. Students suffer numerous pressures, worries and even stresses during the twelve years of studying. For that reason, one year is the appropriate amount of time for them to take a long holiday in order to refresh their mind before continuing getting new knowledge from universities. Additionally, young people can make use of such a gap year to master vital skills. In other words, teamwork, presentation and soft skills are very important for students at universities. Hence, to learn these essential skills, applying for a job at offices is an effective way. Since the environment of the offices will provide youngsters a big chance to work with people from different backgrounds as well as obtain real experience for their chosen major at the universities.
Despite these attractions, however, some drawbacks do exist. Young people might forget important knowledge. In other words, one year is a huge amount of time and if students do not review knowledge during that time, it is every difficult for them to remember that knowledge. Thus, they should use their foundation obtained from high schools to continue starting at universities. Another drawback is that work or travel in one year is time-consuming. Students are very difficult to seek a job with high salaries because the qualification of high school is at a low level in comparison with a university graduate's diploma. Consequently, after graduating from high schools, they should make education a priority.
In conclusion, a gap year might bring both benefits and severe detrimental effect to students. Given that students can use a gap year to take a break and improve necessary skills, but also they will fail to recall their knowledge as well as waste their time to find jobs with low salaries.
(358 words)
Please help me check grammar in this essay and give me some feedbacks. Thank you so much.
In some countries young people are encouraged to work or to travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this
In the 21st century, in several nations, most of the students graduating from high schools are motivated to spend a year on seeking a job or taking a trip before they begin a new life at universities. This raises a certain question about whether this trend brings benefits or drawbacks to the juniors. A number of advantages and disadvantages will be analyzed.
Firstly, students can recharge their power. Students suffer numerous pressures, worries and even stresses during the twelve years of studying. For that reason, one year is the appropriate amount of time for them to take a long holiday in order to refresh their mind before continuing getting new knowledge from universities. Additionally, young people can make use of such a gap year to master vital skills. In other words, teamwork, presentation and soft skills are very important for students at universities. Hence, to learn these essential skills, applying for a job at offices is an effective way. Since the environment of the offices will provide youngsters a big chance to work with people from different backgrounds as well as obtain real experience for their chosen major at the universities.
Despite these attractions, however, some drawbacks do exist. Young people might forget important knowledge. In other words, one year is a huge amount of time and if students do not review knowledge during that time, it is every difficult for them to remember that knowledge. Thus, they should use their foundation obtained from high schools to continue starting at universities. Another drawback is that work or travel in one year is time-consuming. Students are very difficult to seek a job with high salaries because the qualification of high school is at a low level in comparison with a university graduate's diploma. Consequently, after graduating from high schools, they should make education a priority.
In conclusion, a gap year might bring both benefits and severe detrimental effect to students. Given that students can use a gap year to take a break and improve necessary skills, but also they will fail to recall their knowledge as well as waste their time to find jobs with low salaries.
(358 words)
