chelsealwayss
Jul 23, 2009
Undergraduate / Philosophy represented by the three latin words - FSU Entrance Essay. [11]
Thanks again you guys :)
Thanks again you guys :)
chelsealwayss
Jul 22, 2009
Undergraduate / Philosophy represented by the three latin words - FSU Entrance Essay. [11]
Ok, thanks again for your inputs. I feel like i'm not that good at making a decent essay. Anywho, how about this for the first paragraph:
Ever since I was a child, I felt that I was always presented with personal growth opportunities. When I was six, my parents ended up divorcing; my mom had to support my brother and me alone. I was constantly changing schools and being required to make new friends. Growing up without comfort or security had created this monstrous wave of negative self worth. During my freshman year of high school, I had developed an eating disorder. I went through "thick and thin" literally. I had difficult challenges with my peers, school work, and family relations. I had put my illness above everybody and everything. I continuously fought for my life. I gained back all my strength, and then some, by the beginning of my junior year. That was definitely a major obstacle, and I had to convince myself that I could get past it, physically and mentally. After I fully recovered, I thought nothing could get in my way. I felt invincible.
And then i go on and talk about my job, and then the school thing, and then the conclusions.
And one last question, so in college essays, you shouldn't put things like, "a great addition to the school" etc?
Ok, thanks again for your inputs. I feel like i'm not that good at making a decent essay. Anywho, how about this for the first paragraph:
Ever since I was a child, I felt that I was always presented with personal growth opportunities. When I was six, my parents ended up divorcing; my mom had to support my brother and me alone. I was constantly changing schools and being required to make new friends. Growing up without comfort or security had created this monstrous wave of negative self worth. During my freshman year of high school, I had developed an eating disorder. I went through "thick and thin" literally. I had difficult challenges with my peers, school work, and family relations. I had put my illness above everybody and everything. I continuously fought for my life. I gained back all my strength, and then some, by the beginning of my junior year. That was definitely a major obstacle, and I had to convince myself that I could get past it, physically and mentally. After I fully recovered, I thought nothing could get in my way. I felt invincible.
And then i go on and talk about my job, and then the school thing, and then the conclusions.
And one last question, so in college essays, you shouldn't put things like, "a great addition to the school" etc?
chelsealwayss
Jul 21, 2009
Undergraduate / Philosophy represented by the three latin words - FSU Entrance Essay. [11]
No, you're response is absolutely wonderful.
Hahaha. I figured my ideas were somewhat out of order. Thanks so much, you were a big help.
No, you're response is absolutely wonderful.
Hahaha. I figured my ideas were somewhat out of order. Thanks so much, you were a big help.
chelsealwayss
Jul 21, 2009
Undergraduate / Philosophy represented by the three latin words - FSU Entrance Essay. [11]
topic: For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life
I feel like i have too many run on sentences. Also, my essay is a tad short. But i'm not really sure what to expand on.
The words "Vires, Artes, Mores" are three very powerful words. Each has significance and all have impacted my life. Though each word stands for something so unique to someone else, for me, "Vires" definitely triggers some strong emotions.
When I take a look back at my childhood years, it is so evident now that I was always presented with personal growth opportunities. When I was six, my parents divorced; my mom had to support my brother and me alone. I was constantly changing schools and being required to make new friends. Growing up without comfort or security had created this monstrous wave of negative self-worth. During my freshman year of high school, I developed an eating disorder. I went through "thick and thin" literally. I had difficult challenges with my peers, school work, and family relations. I had put my illness above everybody and everything. I continuously fought for my life. I gained back all my strength, and then some, by the beginning of my junior year. That was definitely a major obstacle, and I had to convince myself that I could get past it, physically and mentally. After I fully recovered, I thought nothing could get in my way. I felt invincible.
I have been at my current job for two and half years. I had started out as a bus-girl. Soon after showing my skills as a responsible and efficient employee, I was promoted to waitress. Talking in front of people and making light conversation with complete strangers seemed unthinkable, especially since I was fresh in recovery and still had some negative thoughts. I fought through the tears that came pouring out the first few mornings of my being on the floor, and now I'm more confident with the many things that I do. I'm not only an excellent waitress, but also talented in making anyone smile, which even my customers compliment me on, and that to me used to be an unrealistic statement.
I have recently made the decision to give up the all intended "senior year" to spend at the local community college because it was financially and educationally wise. These have molded me into the great person that I am today. My character is strong, determined, and willing; all of which will enable me to exceed at everything that I do.
The philosophy represented by those three words has personal meaning. I would make an excellent addition to your school. I won't forget to bring along my open-mindedness, my ability to reach for the impossible, and some Florida State Seminole pride.
topic: For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life
I feel like i have too many run on sentences. Also, my essay is a tad short. But i'm not really sure what to expand on.
The words "Vires, Artes, Mores" are three very powerful words. Each has significance and all have impacted my life. Though each word stands for something so unique to someone else, for me, "Vires" definitely triggers some strong emotions.
When I take a look back at my childhood years, it is so evident now that I was always presented with personal growth opportunities. When I was six, my parents divorced; my mom had to support my brother and me alone. I was constantly changing schools and being required to make new friends. Growing up without comfort or security had created this monstrous wave of negative self-worth. During my freshman year of high school, I developed an eating disorder. I went through "thick and thin" literally. I had difficult challenges with my peers, school work, and family relations. I had put my illness above everybody and everything. I continuously fought for my life. I gained back all my strength, and then some, by the beginning of my junior year. That was definitely a major obstacle, and I had to convince myself that I could get past it, physically and mentally. After I fully recovered, I thought nothing could get in my way. I felt invincible.
I have been at my current job for two and half years. I had started out as a bus-girl. Soon after showing my skills as a responsible and efficient employee, I was promoted to waitress. Talking in front of people and making light conversation with complete strangers seemed unthinkable, especially since I was fresh in recovery and still had some negative thoughts. I fought through the tears that came pouring out the first few mornings of my being on the floor, and now I'm more confident with the many things that I do. I'm not only an excellent waitress, but also talented in making anyone smile, which even my customers compliment me on, and that to me used to be an unrealistic statement.
I have recently made the decision to give up the all intended "senior year" to spend at the local community college because it was financially and educationally wise. These have molded me into the great person that I am today. My character is strong, determined, and willing; all of which will enable me to exceed at everything that I do.
The philosophy represented by those three words has personal meaning. I would make an excellent addition to your school. I won't forget to bring along my open-mindedness, my ability to reach for the impossible, and some Florida State Seminole pride.
