edward09520
Sep 19, 2015
Writing Feedback / Many young people in the workforce today change their jobs or careers every few years.(IELTS) [3]
This is my IELTS practice essay , I have to get 7 in writing so i just want know to get that and I want improve my writing.
Thank you for review my essay. any common will be useful. thanks.
Topic: Many young people in the workforce today change their jobs or careers every few years. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantage?
It is very common that young people regular change their jobs. There are several reasons why they keep changing jobs all the time. I think the cause are they do not know what kind of jobs they really want do to and they are not satisfied with the current job.
It seems to me that many young adults regularly change their jobs because they realize the jobs are boring and unchallenged, even they may doubt whether they should do this job. But, if they often shift from a job to another it will have some problems. If you jump ship and leave your job, you risk loss of current employee benefits and have no guarantee of steady income, contributing spouses or partners excluded. So you may have a serious finical pressure before you find the next available vacancy. Additionally, social competition becomes more severe and high unemployment rate is very common now, hence before switching a job they should think carefully.
In contrast, it is not too hard for young people to get constant income if they stick to their jobs. After several year workforce experience they may promote to senior position and take more responsibility. Concentrating on their jobs also bring some benefits to them. For example, it can develop their professional skills and build their confidence which help them to get better achievement. At the same time, they are able to pay more attention to service their family duties in their spare time.
In conclusion, young people change jobs in various reasons, but I suggest they should think carefully before change a job. Focusing on the current one that is right choose, it may be difficult, but it worthy to put effort on it.
This is my IELTS practice essay , I have to get 7 in writing so i just want know to get that and I want improve my writing.
Thank you for review my essay. any common will be useful. thanks.
Topic: Many young people in the workforce today change their jobs or careers every few years. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantage?
It is very common that young people regular change their jobs. There are several reasons why they keep changing jobs all the time. I think the cause are they do not know what kind of jobs they really want do to and they are not satisfied with the current job.
It seems to me that many young adults regularly change their jobs because they realize the jobs are boring and unchallenged, even they may doubt whether they should do this job. But, if they often shift from a job to another it will have some problems. If you jump ship and leave your job, you risk loss of current employee benefits and have no guarantee of steady income, contributing spouses or partners excluded. So you may have a serious finical pressure before you find the next available vacancy. Additionally, social competition becomes more severe and high unemployment rate is very common now, hence before switching a job they should think carefully.
In contrast, it is not too hard for young people to get constant income if they stick to their jobs. After several year workforce experience they may promote to senior position and take more responsibility. Concentrating on their jobs also bring some benefits to them. For example, it can develop their professional skills and build their confidence which help them to get better achievement. At the same time, they are able to pay more attention to service their family duties in their spare time.
In conclusion, young people change jobs in various reasons, but I suggest they should think carefully before change a job. Focusing on the current one that is right choose, it may be difficult, but it worthy to put effort on it.
