willflem
Sep 19, 2015
Undergraduate / Brandeis being a Jewish affiliated university, I felt that I being a Muslim would make me an outcast [2]
Why would you like to attend Brandeis? (250 words or fewer) HELP!!!
I'm applying to Brandeis University as a transfer. I really love this college. This is my rough draft, and its maxed at 250. I need help on any mistakes that I have made. I did my best to delete any errors, however an extra pair of eyes would most certainly help. I remained pretty genuine with my experience. Please let me know if everything flows correctly, and most of all makes sense. THANK YOU !!!
Melodies of the Erhu (or Chinese violin), strokes of traditional characters, and brush paintings of mystical landscapes resonated with my young mind profoundly after watching too many re-runs of the movie,Rush Hour. Needless to say, my youthful mind became charged, and empowered through curiosity to learn more about the culture of Hong Kong, and China respectively. As each memory of my life painted a picture of my past, Asian culture has been a major influence in my career ambitions, and Brandeis University is a part of those aspirations.
Your institution carries a heavy emphasis on being a part of something bigger than one's self. Furthermore, the prominence on community service is appealing; along with various student clubs that encompasses Asian culture attracts me. At that moment, I realized that Brandeis University believes in global citizenship just as I do. Unlike many other colleges, Brandeis's vision was established and has always sought to protect ethnic, religious and racial minorities while prioritizing justice, equality, and social change.
However, Brandeis being a Jewish affiliated university, I felt that I being a Muslim would make me an outcast. Until, reading reviews on various college websites from Brandeis alumnus and current students. The comments are extremely positive, and illustrates a welcoming culture. From those individual college reviews, I saw proof in Brandeis's vision. Brandeis is right for me because I will contribute to those values through curiosity to learn the unknowing, and helping those in need while doing so. Thank you for this opportunity.
Why would you like to attend Brandeis? (250 words or fewer) HELP!!!
I'm applying to Brandeis University as a transfer. I really love this college. This is my rough draft, and its maxed at 250. I need help on any mistakes that I have made. I did my best to delete any errors, however an extra pair of eyes would most certainly help. I remained pretty genuine with my experience. Please let me know if everything flows correctly, and most of all makes sense. THANK YOU !!!
Melodies of the Erhu (or Chinese violin), strokes of traditional characters, and brush paintings of mystical landscapes resonated with my young mind profoundly after watching too many re-runs of the movie,Rush Hour. Needless to say, my youthful mind became charged, and empowered through curiosity to learn more about the culture of Hong Kong, and China respectively. As each memory of my life painted a picture of my past, Asian culture has been a major influence in my career ambitions, and Brandeis University is a part of those aspirations.
Your institution carries a heavy emphasis on being a part of something bigger than one's self. Furthermore, the prominence on community service is appealing; along with various student clubs that encompasses Asian culture attracts me. At that moment, I realized that Brandeis University believes in global citizenship just as I do. Unlike many other colleges, Brandeis's vision was established and has always sought to protect ethnic, religious and racial minorities while prioritizing justice, equality, and social change.
However, Brandeis being a Jewish affiliated university, I felt that I being a Muslim would make me an outcast. Until, reading reviews on various college websites from Brandeis alumnus and current students. The comments are extremely positive, and illustrates a welcoming culture. From those individual college reviews, I saw proof in Brandeis's vision. Brandeis is right for me because I will contribute to those values through curiosity to learn the unknowing, and helping those in need while doing so. Thank you for this opportunity.