atang09
Sep 23, 2015
Scholarship / Rebel soldier. Close-mindedness - QuestBridge Additional Essay [4]
The prompt I was given was: If you could change one thing about your community, what would it be and why?
I wrote a (sort of) second essay that was less focused on a specific example of discrimination and more focused on my personal experience with prejudice. The second one, which I'll put below, isn't as well written in my opinion, and would take a bit more revision if I decide to use it. I am just not sure which direction to take it in, as I know that the prompt is to talk about my community, but I also know that the main goal of this application is for them to get to know me. I have also written another essay that is entirely about my background and how it has affected me, so in a way, I would like to keep this additional essay less self centered.
I have lived in ---, Alabama my whole life. ----- is the type of place that grandparents like to ramble about, preaching things like "Ooh, what I would've given to live in a place like that" ,"Do you even know how nice of an education you're gettin'?" and most commonly, "Well I sure would hope it's nice considering all the ----- tax dollars I'm payin' for it!" However, if you were to ask students from surrounding schools how they felt about ------, you'd probably hear something along the lines of "Ugh. It's full of snobby, rich white kids that think they're better than everyone", and to put it simply, they're not entirely wrong.
As a nonreligious, low-income, vegetarian female, I haven't had the easiest time being accepted in my school system. In middle school, I was very much considered a black sheep. The idea of someone not being a Christian, yet still being a good kid was a completely foreign concept to most of my peers. Even if they were brave enough, children who dared to be friends with me were usually not aloud to be. As I matured, I only grew closer and closer to the "dirty hippie" archetype that my fellow students so desperately wanted me to fill: opinionated, vegetarian, outspoken, and, for lack of a better word, poor. While I doubt that these adjectives are seen as inherently negative by nearly any open-minded person, the citizens of ----- could not be further from open-minded. There's an overwhelming pressure of conformity and uniformity in our community, and I often wonder if perhaps "-----" was just a grand misspelling of "Stepford".
This prejudice is not something that particularly bothers me, as I am far too comfortable with the person I am to be concerned with other people's arbitrary opinions about me; however, I can't help but worry for the people who do not have that strength.
It's not fair that some young people raised in my town will grow up viewing themselves as less important than others when it is simply not true. One person cannot inherently have more value than another, especially not based off of something as superficial as income levels or skin color. This discriminatory culture has inflicted long lasting damages on not only the communities of the oppressed, but also our community as a whole.
I do not in any way neglect the privilege that I'm awarded by being able to live in ------. I get to go to a school where I have access to nearly every type of computer I could possibly think of. Most of my teachers are not only well educated, but also just generally caring and compassionate people. Outside of school, I live in a place where homeless people are an anomaly, and I have access to thousands of stores and restaurants all within 20 minutes of my home. And ultimately, I think that -----s issue with prejudice comes down to these privileges not being recognized.
If you could change one thing about your community, what would it be and why?
The prompt I was given was: If you could change one thing about your community, what would it be and why?
I wrote a (sort of) second essay that was less focused on a specific example of discrimination and more focused on my personal experience with prejudice. The second one, which I'll put below, isn't as well written in my opinion, and would take a bit more revision if I decide to use it. I am just not sure which direction to take it in, as I know that the prompt is to talk about my community, but I also know that the main goal of this application is for them to get to know me. I have also written another essay that is entirely about my background and how it has affected me, so in a way, I would like to keep this additional essay less self centered.
I have lived in ---, Alabama my whole life. ----- is the type of place that grandparents like to ramble about, preaching things like "Ooh, what I would've given to live in a place like that" ,"Do you even know how nice of an education you're gettin'?" and most commonly, "Well I sure would hope it's nice considering all the ----- tax dollars I'm payin' for it!" However, if you were to ask students from surrounding schools how they felt about ------, you'd probably hear something along the lines of "Ugh. It's full of snobby, rich white kids that think they're better than everyone", and to put it simply, they're not entirely wrong.
As a nonreligious, low-income, vegetarian female, I haven't had the easiest time being accepted in my school system. In middle school, I was very much considered a black sheep. The idea of someone not being a Christian, yet still being a good kid was a completely foreign concept to most of my peers. Even if they were brave enough, children who dared to be friends with me were usually not aloud to be. As I matured, I only grew closer and closer to the "dirty hippie" archetype that my fellow students so desperately wanted me to fill: opinionated, vegetarian, outspoken, and, for lack of a better word, poor. While I doubt that these adjectives are seen as inherently negative by nearly any open-minded person, the citizens of ----- could not be further from open-minded. There's an overwhelming pressure of conformity and uniformity in our community, and I often wonder if perhaps "-----" was just a grand misspelling of "Stepford".
This prejudice is not something that particularly bothers me, as I am far too comfortable with the person I am to be concerned with other people's arbitrary opinions about me; however, I can't help but worry for the people who do not have that strength.
It's not fair that some young people raised in my town will grow up viewing themselves as less important than others when it is simply not true. One person cannot inherently have more value than another, especially not based off of something as superficial as income levels or skin color. This discriminatory culture has inflicted long lasting damages on not only the communities of the oppressed, but also our community as a whole.
I do not in any way neglect the privilege that I'm awarded by being able to live in ------. I get to go to a school where I have access to nearly every type of computer I could possibly think of. Most of my teachers are not only well educated, but also just generally caring and compassionate people. Outside of school, I live in a place where homeless people are an anomaly, and I have access to thousands of stores and restaurants all within 20 minutes of my home. And ultimately, I think that -----s issue with prejudice comes down to these privileges not being recognized.
