lananh20299
Sep 30, 2015
Undergraduate / 'the rice trees under the fog blanket' - your day on April 29,2015 [5]
Thank you very much, vangiespen :)
Thank you very much, vangiespen :)
lananh20299
Sep 29, 2015
Undergraduate / 'the rice trees under the fog blanket' - your day on April 29,2015 [5]
how about my second draft? Could you please check my grammar and leave your comment on it?
Here it is
The alarm clock goes off at 5.00 am. Quickly, I get out of my bed and start a new day with enthusiasm. Today is 29thof April 2025, a very special day for me: the day I open a branch office of my business in Ho Chi Minh City. Opening the window, I admire the sunrise gradually illuminate the misty metropolis. Amazing! I reminisce the sunrise in the paddy field in my hometown: the rice trees sleeping peacefully in the blanket of fog and parents and other farmers reaping the harvest in the scorching heat of June. Suddenly, I smirk: To create better lives for Vietnamese farmers, I've gone that far: having been to many countries to learn the way people grow cash crops and raising fish for export, getting a Fulbright scholarship to study General Management at Harvard Business School, and currently the founder and CEO of Thien Ha Seafood Joint Stock Company which has helped to reduce the unemployment rate for farmers in the area.
Having taken exercises and had breakfast, I drive to the venue. As I come there, the secretary quickens her steps to pick me up from the car. The meeting hall is packed with people: nearly 2000 staff and employees. They are waiting for my opening speech. I strut with confidence along the aisle. All eyes are looking towards me. Some of the employees mutter:" Is that our manager? So young!".
Reaching the platform, I begin to give my speech.
"...we have been very successful in our model fish- for- export in Kien Luong district in the recent years. And to meet the rising demand in seafood in the near future, we need to expand our business. That is why I choose here-Can Gio district in Ho Chi Minh City as our next destination because of... We are aiming at becoming the biggest seafood exporter to American and Europe market. We are building the wealth for the future. I'm proud of prosperity to create. I'm proud of what we do here. I'm proud of the way we change people's lives and I want you to join me and go the extra mile and making a difference and thank you very much."
As I finish the speech, the audiences give me a standing ovation. In the sunny morning, their eyes reflect the eagerness to attain the goal. Although there is a long road ahead, the day marks a really important milestone in my career.
how about my second draft? Could you please check my grammar and leave your comment on it?
Here it is
The alarm clock goes off at 5.00 am. Quickly, I get out of my bed and start a new day with enthusiasm. Today is 29thof April 2025, a very special day for me: the day I open a branch office of my business in Ho Chi Minh City. Opening the window, I admire the sunrise gradually illuminate the misty metropolis. Amazing! I reminisce the sunrise in the paddy field in my hometown: the rice trees sleeping peacefully in the blanket of fog and parents and other farmers reaping the harvest in the scorching heat of June. Suddenly, I smirk: To create better lives for Vietnamese farmers, I've gone that far: having been to many countries to learn the way people grow cash crops and raising fish for export, getting a Fulbright scholarship to study General Management at Harvard Business School, and currently the founder and CEO of Thien Ha Seafood Joint Stock Company which has helped to reduce the unemployment rate for farmers in the area.
Having taken exercises and had breakfast, I drive to the venue. As I come there, the secretary quickens her steps to pick me up from the car. The meeting hall is packed with people: nearly 2000 staff and employees. They are waiting for my opening speech. I strut with confidence along the aisle. All eyes are looking towards me. Some of the employees mutter:" Is that our manager? So young!".
Reaching the platform, I begin to give my speech.
"...we have been very successful in our model fish- for- export in Kien Luong district in the recent years. And to meet the rising demand in seafood in the near future, we need to expand our business. That is why I choose here-Can Gio district in Ho Chi Minh City as our next destination because of... We are aiming at becoming the biggest seafood exporter to American and Europe market. We are building the wealth for the future. I'm proud of prosperity to create. I'm proud of what we do here. I'm proud of the way we change people's lives and I want you to join me and go the extra mile and making a difference and thank you very much."
As I finish the speech, the audiences give me a standing ovation. In the sunny morning, their eyes reflect the eagerness to attain the goal. Although there is a long road ahead, the day marks a really important milestone in my career.
lananh20299
Sep 28, 2015
Undergraduate / 'the rice trees under the fog blanket' - your day on April 29,2015 [5]
Your day on April 29,2015 - UWC application
Although I have put a lot of effort into my writing, I wonder if my essay is grammatically correct and the expression is clear enough. Please give me some remarks on this. Thank in advance.
And here it is
"The alarm clock goes off at 5.00 am. I get up, open the window and get some fresh air. A new day has come. It's 4/29/2025. I admire the sunrise gradually illuminate the misty metropolis. Amazing! I reminisce the sunrise in the paddy field in my hometown: the rice trees were still sleeping peacefully in the blanket of fog. 2 months later, in the scorching heat of June, my parents and other farmers would reap the harvest. Suddenly, I smirk: To create a better lives for Vietnamese farmers, I've gone that far: being an agricultural trainee in USA, having been to many countries to investigate the way people grow cash crops and raising fish for export, getting a scholarship to Cornell University to study Hospitality Management, and currently the Director of Sale and Marketing in InterContinental NY Times Square Hotel. I hope I can set up a business model which benefits agriculture and tourism.
Having taken exercises and had breakfast, I go to work. My colleagues dress up smartly and elegantly. Their eyes sparkle with ambition. I love working with those ambitious people. I love the working environment which is highly competitive and challenging because I know that only by this way can I become tougher to have enough competence to fulfill my life mission: a better lives for farmers, a hotel chain and a competitive national tourism.
Having caught a glimpse of me, the Hotel Manager comes over and say : " Ms. Ngo, you're in charge of this business transaction with one of our partners: InterContinental Bangkok. Here is the plan. Good luck."
"OK, sir." I replied in confidence.
I'm thriving on my career path.One year later, I'll return to Vietnam to set up my own business. I'll apply what I've learned to my business. 10 years after that, I'll be owner of a hotel chain and contribute greatly to tourism industry. Holding the plan paper tightly in my hand, I imagine myself at that time: the first dollar female billionaire in Vietnam dressing with chic, low bun hairstyle, driving a Mercedes-Benz S-class, looking straight ahead, I murmur an old quote" My mind does not change in this changing world".
(To other applicant: please do not plagiarize my idea)
Your day on April 29,2015 - UWC application
Although I have put a lot of effort into my writing, I wonder if my essay is grammatically correct and the expression is clear enough. Please give me some remarks on this. Thank in advance.
And here it is
"The alarm clock goes off at 5.00 am. I get up, open the window and get some fresh air. A new day has come. It's 4/29/2025. I admire the sunrise gradually illuminate the misty metropolis. Amazing! I reminisce the sunrise in the paddy field in my hometown: the rice trees were still sleeping peacefully in the blanket of fog. 2 months later, in the scorching heat of June, my parents and other farmers would reap the harvest. Suddenly, I smirk: To create a better lives for Vietnamese farmers, I've gone that far: being an agricultural trainee in USA, having been to many countries to investigate the way people grow cash crops and raising fish for export, getting a scholarship to Cornell University to study Hospitality Management, and currently the Director of Sale and Marketing in InterContinental NY Times Square Hotel. I hope I can set up a business model which benefits agriculture and tourism.
Having taken exercises and had breakfast, I go to work. My colleagues dress up smartly and elegantly. Their eyes sparkle with ambition. I love working with those ambitious people. I love the working environment which is highly competitive and challenging because I know that only by this way can I become tougher to have enough competence to fulfill my life mission: a better lives for farmers, a hotel chain and a competitive national tourism.
Having caught a glimpse of me, the Hotel Manager comes over and say : " Ms. Ngo, you're in charge of this business transaction with one of our partners: InterContinental Bangkok. Here is the plan. Good luck."
"OK, sir." I replied in confidence.
I'm thriving on my career path.One year later, I'll return to Vietnam to set up my own business. I'll apply what I've learned to my business. 10 years after that, I'll be owner of a hotel chain and contribute greatly to tourism industry. Holding the plan paper tightly in my hand, I imagine myself at that time: the first dollar female billionaire in Vietnam dressing with chic, low bun hairstyle, driving a Mercedes-Benz S-class, looking straight ahead, I murmur an old quote" My mind does not change in this changing world".
(To other applicant: please do not plagiarize my idea)
