Tayyaba786
Oct 2, 2015
Writing Feedback / "Moving to a New World" - (from Pakistan to the United States) - Personal Statement for college [2]
Essay Prompt:
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations. Please tell me if this a good topic i feel like i messed up!
Moving to a New World
I remember moving from Pakistan to the United States when i was 5 years old. I remember how i had dreams and assumptions that it would be so easy to fit in. How i thought i would not have difficulty making new friends, but i had forgotten that in life if you want to gain something you have to lose something. When i arrived to the United States. Everything felt so different. I did not know english or anything. I was like a lost child who had forgotten where she belonged.
When i was going to start as a third grader in Francis Scott Key Elementary School i was really excited about going to a new school and making new friends and being accepted for who i was. That i would not be judged, but when i walked into my class the first day everyone were not that welcoming. My fellow classmates judged me about how i looked, my religion, and where i came from. I was really not used to being judged. I came from a society that accepted me the way i was and suddenly my fellow students were judging me. So it was really hard for me to accept that. I mean i felted like the dreams that this 5 year old had. Had been shattered.
As time went by everything got better because as i started speaking english more and more. I could understand what other students when they said bad things about me. So i stood up for myself when they tried to bully me or make fun of me. My family had a big role in helping me adapt to the american culture. My dad encouraged me to stand up for myself and never give up. My mom inspired me the most because she is a person who had to go through a big change in her life from being a housewife to a strong and independant women. This really inspired me because when i saw her go through this change it changed my outlook on my life. That i have to be strong and independant like her. That i can't let these negative comments affect me because no matter what i do i am always going to be hated for something and if i let that affect me than i won't be able to achieve anything in life.
Faith played a major role in helping me adapt to the american culture because it gave me hope. I came from a culture that had strong beliefs about god and those beliefs were passed down to me. This experience shaped me the person i am today by this experience taught me that i should not give up hope even if it seems like the only choice i have because if i gave up hope at that moment than i would not be strong enough to face other challenges in life.
Essay Prompt:
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations. Please tell me if this a good topic i feel like i messed up!
Moving to a New World
I remember moving from Pakistan to the United States when i was 5 years old. I remember how i had dreams and assumptions that it would be so easy to fit in. How i thought i would not have difficulty making new friends, but i had forgotten that in life if you want to gain something you have to lose something. When i arrived to the United States. Everything felt so different. I did not know english or anything. I was like a lost child who had forgotten where she belonged.
When i was going to start as a third grader in Francis Scott Key Elementary School i was really excited about going to a new school and making new friends and being accepted for who i was. That i would not be judged, but when i walked into my class the first day everyone were not that welcoming. My fellow classmates judged me about how i looked, my religion, and where i came from. I was really not used to being judged. I came from a society that accepted me the way i was and suddenly my fellow students were judging me. So it was really hard for me to accept that. I mean i felted like the dreams that this 5 year old had. Had been shattered.
As time went by everything got better because as i started speaking english more and more. I could understand what other students when they said bad things about me. So i stood up for myself when they tried to bully me or make fun of me. My family had a big role in helping me adapt to the american culture. My dad encouraged me to stand up for myself and never give up. My mom inspired me the most because she is a person who had to go through a big change in her life from being a housewife to a strong and independant women. This really inspired me because when i saw her go through this change it changed my outlook on my life. That i have to be strong and independant like her. That i can't let these negative comments affect me because no matter what i do i am always going to be hated for something and if i let that affect me than i won't be able to achieve anything in life.
Faith played a major role in helping me adapt to the american culture because it gave me hope. I came from a culture that had strong beliefs about god and those beliefs were passed down to me. This experience shaped me the person i am today by this experience taught me that i should not give up hope even if it seems like the only choice i have because if i gave up hope at that moment than i would not be strong enough to face other challenges in life.
