Undergraduate / "responsible student", "ideal school for me" - UCF Admission Essays [3]

These are the essays I created for my application for UCF. I wanted to know if anyone could review them, see if there are any mistakes or if I could add more details (or even less).

2. How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are?

Being biracial had been something that I felt made me inferior to others. However, the distinctiveness of my situation and how I conquered the cruelties of prejudice encouraged me to become an open-minded person. I am an Argentinean African-American so my skin was a light caramel color. Growing up in a small town full of African Americans, I was ostracized from my fellow classmates because of my lighter skin tone. Through the feelings of incompetence, I learned not to judge others. I accept people for who they are and what they believe in, regardless of race, religion, and orientation.

In addition, the encouragement I received from my family helped develop me into a hardworking and dedicated student. My family always supports me, no matter the situation, and always pushed me to take the extra step in life. My mother encouraged me to produce goals and live up to them ever since I was a child; she made sure I worked and studied hard because she didn't want me to make the same mistake that she made as a teenager: not attend college. She also made sure that I kept my Spanish strong because she knew that as an adult, my knowledge in two languages would help me to communicate with others.

My ability to face a situation with an open-mind as well as my supportive family persuaded me to try new and different situations in life, such as learn to be conversant in a third language.

3. Why did you choose to apply to UCF?

My interest in UCF has been existent since I began high school. When I visited UCF during the summer of my senior year, I spoke with a professor from the College of Business Administration. Every statement she said convinced me that UCF is the ideal school for me. The firmness of the business program showed me that, in order to pursue a career in Business Administration, a student must be willing to commit one hundred and ten percent to their studies. I am hard working student; I admire the fact that a student must prove themselves worthy for their first two years of college in order to be consider a real business student.

In addition, the grace and beauty that is instilled in the campus made me want to become a Knight. UCF stands for opportunities and have more than enough to offer. UCF is remarkable for a potential business student seeking employment. Whether it is an amusement park or a big corporation, the internship opportunities at UCF stand out more than any other college in the state. The location of the school is also away from home and provides me with the opportunity to gain my own independence but at the same time, is close enough to avoid home sickness.

UCF is all about providing opportunities and I know that attending this school is definitely an opportunity I want to seize.
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