Writing Feedback / Abortion: Help Before and Beyond - Great Awareness [3]

I would appreciate help with grammar/mechanics and word choice...thank you.

I am fervently and genuinely concerned about the long term effects abortion has on women, men, families, and society. However, after spending hours reading, reviewing, and researching endless studies, statistics, and courtroom arguments, I find myself grieved, frustrated, and mentally exhausted. Legal controversies disregard the importance and purpose of children and neglect protecting the sanctity of life and family. These disputes born of abortion, obscure family matters and instead, focus on winning battles, be it relationship battles, courtroom battles, or battles among researchers, and their findings. All the while, a growing number of men and women, having experienced abortion, are suffering long term effects and the consequences of their decision. But, what if contending pro-choice decisions takes on a different approach and returns the focus to its proper place? To those personally affected and directly involved. Educating communities of the long term effects and alternative options will aid to decrease the number of annual abortions, give momentum to Arizona's abortion downward trend, save baby's lives, and enrich families, homes, and society.

Recent studies show that, since 2010, abortion rates throughout the United States continue to decrease. David Crary, a reporter, editor and bureau chief with The Associated Press since 1976, says, "Several states that have been most aggressive in passing anti-abortion laws have seen their abortion numbers drop significantly." Despite the legal anti-abortion efforts in Arizona, the abortion rate is decreasing at a much slower rate than the national average. The lawful methods used in Arizona to combat abortion are effective, to some extent. However, using these methods alone fails to educate and address the long term effects regarding abortion. Many others who are still opting for abortion are doing so ignorantly, oblivious to the consequences that are yet to come.

Furthermore, studies find that the majority of men and women opting for abortion fall between the ages of fifteen and twenty-four. This age group accounts for more than fifty percent of all abortions in the United States. Guttmacher, an institute in its fifth decade advancing sexual and reproductive health and rights through an interrelated program of research and policy analysis, reports that eighteen percent of American women having abortions are teenagers. Additionally reported, women aged twenty to twenty-four obtain thirty-three percent of all abortions. Greater awareness and early intervention is vital to reduce the national abortion rate and increase the pace in which numbers are currently declining.

Equally important, to the number of excessive abortions, is growing concern for the health and welfare of our society. For many single, or unwed men, and women, unplanned pregnancy can cause an overwhelming amount of fear, anxiety, and confusion. Not knowing what to do, or where to turn, in this type of circumstance, leaves a person feeling desperate and believing there may only be one option, abortion. In an article entitled, "Abortion and Men: What's a Father to do?" pro-life attorney, Kristi Burton Brown exclaims, "Many women get abortions not realizing that abortion presents its own problems and, often, these problems are much worse than what the woman was already experiencing." Being uninformed of alternative options and the long term effects of abortion will only add to the inevitable pain and suffering that comes from a hasty decision to abort.

So, what are the long term effects of abortion and whom does it affect? Research shows that, in addition to risks to a woman's physical health, abortion is also linked to psychological and emotional disorders such as, depression, anxiety, and suicidal behavior in both women and men. A large percentage of the public is unaware of these long term effects. Many believe that, if there are any aftereffects, the potential mother alone is most likely to experience them temporarily. However, mounting evidence suggests otherwise. Aftereffects are anything but temporary, nor are the effects limited to the potential mothers. Among the broken and suffering are potential fathers, grandparents, and extended family members as well.

Clinical psychologist, Dr. Vincent Rue, affirms, " The APA (American Psychological Association) has missed the boat and has misguided the American public, it is out of touch with reality and the pain and suffering of these very real people." Like many post-traumatic, stress disorders, these psychological and emotional illnesses can begin immediately after an abortion or many years later. Unfortunately, unless the public is educated and brought to greater awareness, it will continue to be misguided and misinformed of abortions long term risks and ignorantly suffer future consequences to their overall well-being.

A commonality among people having experienced abortion is, once the psychological and emotional effects surface, it tends to worsen and leads to drug and/or alcohol abuse. Studies show that men and women, rather than obtaining proper counseling and support, are turning to alcohol and drugs to pursue immediate relief from the feelings of guilt, fear, and anger. In the "Journal of Marriage and the Family", Yamaguchi and Kandel uncover that "Illegal drug use is 6.1 times higher among women with history of abortion compared to women with no history of abortion." Drug and alcohol abuse provides temporary relief for some, but by no means, is it a long term solution. Drug and alcohol abuse only poses more problems and severe risks to an already complex problem.

A safer and more effective solution to the effects of abortion is greater awareness, education, and early intervention. There are various resources and support groups, both nationally and locally, to help women, men, and couples become more informed and educated about abortion, the alternative options, and their parental rights. One topic severely neglected is in regards to a father's paternal rights. Stanton Phillips, who runs the Adoption Legal Services at Goldenberg & Phillips, P.C. in McLean, Virginia and assists with the procedural aspects of revising and updating laws, evokes, "I would love to see early education taught in school. When they teach health and sex education classes, put it into the curriculum that there is such a thing as a putative father registry to protect their rights" (qtd. in Le "Birth Fathers + Adoptions: Inequality in Parental Rights"). Potential fathers desiring to have a stronger paternal role can be encouraged to speak-up, be heard, and given guidance to help grasp their parental rights. Learning the facts to be able to help a girlfriend or wife better understand what to expect and choose life over abortion is a good place for a potential father to begin. Also beneficial is educating himself regarding the different bases for defending human life, researching the different stages of pregnancy, and a baby's developmental formation. Furthermore, he can obtain accurate information and details about what happens in and during the abortion procedure and become familiar with his option to register with the putative father's registry.

Still, for those who no longer have the amenity of an early intervention juncture, there are other alternatives to abortion. If potential parents are undecided because of being ill-equipped and need additional time to prepare to parent and support their baby, temporary foster care will allot for that time and may be the answer. Another alternative, though more drastic, is the Safe Haven law. This law varies from state to state but offers an individual anonymity. Arizona's Safe Haven law states that, "a person will not face criminal charges for leaving an unharmed newborn baby with a Safe Haven Provider, including hospitals, fire stations, on-duty firefighters or emergency medical technicians, and designated private welfare agencies, adoption agencies and churches" (AZsbh2.org, "The Safe Haven Law Protects Babies and Mother, Providing a Future for Both"). Another safe alternative is adoption. There are thousands of able and loving couples and families waiting and hoping to adopt a child. Women, men and couples choose this option with peace of mind, recognizing that their choice is a responsible, loving feat and is in the best interest of their child. Early intervention is imperative to elude the negative effects of abortion, including having to make an alternative choice.

Directing a woman, man, couple, or family to a reliable source that can offer tangible assistance is critical in making their ultimate decision. Attorney, Kristi Burton Brown says, "Pregnancy help centers are key, they can help with a number of things: they can direct one to resources like medical help, prenatal vitamins, and baby supplies; they can give facts about abortion- what happens and its effects- and fetal development; they often times provide free ultrasounds which are instrumental in helping women see that their unborn child is a baby". Being available to reassure hurting people that there is real hope and real support for them and others facing this difficult decision can make a significant difference between life and death.

Twenty five years ago, I had an abortion. Coming from a religious background, very strict parents and a well-respected family, I was too ashamed and afraid to confront my parents with the truth of my teenage pregnancy. I was certain informing my parents of my pregnancy would cause them to disown me and bring shame to our family name. I could not bear to bring that kind of embarrassment to my family. Desperately seeking answers, I divulged the secret of my pregnancy to my older sister and asked for her advice. She confirmed my worst fears and said I would be "dead meat" if I made my pregnancy known. Feeling like my only option was to have an abortion, I refused to hear or consider anything my boyfriend had to say about our situation. I was on a one-track mind to have an abortion and stay quiet about it so nobody would ever know. I viewed abortion as a big eraser removing my problem and becoming my only solution. Little did I know going through with this procedure would turn out to be more like a permanent marker marring my future and life.

Unaware of any resources, information, or outside agencies offering assistance, I allowed desperation to blind and deceive me into believing that I had no one to turn to for help. Had I understood or been told of the consuming effects that were yet to come, I would have never opted to have an abortion. Never had I fathomed that, of all people, I would one day have to come face to face with depression, fear, guilt, regret and anger. Furthermore, it never occurred to me that my boyfriend would suffer the same effects and eventually become an alcoholic. I did not realize that, more times than not, abortion is too much for any relationship to bear and it would ultimately destroy our relationship. I ignorantly believed my decision would remain unknown and forgotten, never affecting anyone. My ignorance could not be any further from the truth. I suffered needlessly for more than twenty years and almost lost my husband and children to the effects of abortion before desperately seeking help and forgiveness. The support I receive today has been an integral part of the emotional healing and restoration to my heart, marriage, and family.

A few years ago, in a chance encounter with my former boyfriend, I took advantage of the opportunity to apologize and genuinely expressed my sorrow and regret for denying him the opportunity to be considered and heard. Being the gentleman he has always been towards me, he immediately and graciously accepted my apology. In a second chance encounter, a year later, he conveyed that my apology changed his life. He says, despite never harboring any ill feelings towards me, he struggles with not being able to forgive himself and feels he should have spoken up and made himself be heard. However, realizing that I never blamed him or held him responsible for the decision I made many years ago encouraged him to seek help and support for himself. Today, he is a recovering alcoholic. He still, on occasion, deals with depression and anxiety but finally feels he is on the right path to healing. I cannot help but feel partially responsible for the pain and suffering he has been through and all he still contends.

Researching for this assignment has helped me comprehend how far the repercussions of abortion can reach. My decision to abort affects many more than I had ever imagined. My former boyfriend's wife and three children, who are unaware of my abortion, also suffer the consequences of my decision without even realizing it. They have been deprived of the man, husband and father he could have been. Several weeks ago, I reached out to friends and family members asking them for their thoughts, statements, and opinions, regarding abortion. My sister's response stands out the most. One Sunday evening I received her unexpected call. She phoned apologizing for calling so late, but stated she needed her family to be asleep so she could openly speak about my recent inquiry. My emotionally strong sister began to weep as she expressed her years of regret and pain for advising me to get an abortion many years ago. She repeatedly asked for forgiveness, I wept with her and repeatedly assured her it is okay. As we concluded our conversation, she said this would be the first night, in many years, that she would be able to sleep soundly. She too, was personally and deeply affected by my decision to abort my baby.

The need for greater awareness cannot be stressed enough. If greater awareness will be made to couples, individuals and families considering abortion, more decisions to choose life will be made. The current astronomical numbers of abortions will be significantly reduced. The rate in which the numbers are slowly decreasing will improve, baby's lives will be saved, and families will be enriched. The inevitable pain and suffering will be prevented. Mother's will be better moms. Father's will be better dads and families will make better homes. Better families and better homes make for a better society...and better sleep.