Writing Feedback / GRE Analitical Writing. Issue task: "Reliance on technology to solve problems". [7]

Hello, I am studying to take the GRE revised general test and I know that my writing skills are very poor so far. I hope that you can help me to reach a good level by showing to me my most frequents flaws.

This is the task I chose to face:

As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

It is obviously true that nowadays people rely more and more on technology and this is a natural consequence of its the intrinsic nature: if you think of technology in terms of means of transport, computers and appliances, it becomes soon clear that its ultimate goal is to simply lives. Since every form of live (from the bacterium to the human) wants to maximize its reward and to minimize its energy consumption at once, it follows that would be simply irrational not to use technology.Nevertheless, that the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate by relying on it is questionable, and there are some fields in which its usage is fundamental.

It is surely true that, by using washing machines to clean our clothes, we might forget (or never learn) how to hand wash them; it is also true that, by using the internet to do our research, we might never be able to carry out a traditional research in a library amid old books. It can also happen, as one may state, that the habit of using a calculator to perform also simple calculations or that of switching on our navigator to reach also our workplace may undermine the development of some of our cerebral skills.

However, it comes difficult to me to imagine a world in which we have forgotten how to walk because of habitual car's usage; and it is even more complicated to me to figure how we could find and locate the exact position of a cancer without devices such as the Magnetic Resonance Imaging machines or how we could diagnose an arrhythmia in heart beats without taking advantages of an ECG, with the same current accuracy.

This is to say that a rational and moderate usage of technology can only benefit us and make our life a bit easier; moreover certain applications of technology (e.g. those in the medical field) are lifesaving and therefore fundamental.

In conclusion, it is basically up to us and to our consciences which will be the future effects of an extensive usage of technology; the reasons that lead to technological products are almost always undoubtedly noble and we should do our best to beget something productive out of them. For instance, to use a dishwasher do to the washing up is exceedingly effective and it saves us a raft of time; if we use that time to ruminate on the strings' theory or to simply read a book, our society is destined to improve and to reach a prosperous future. If instead, we use that time to watch some silly talent show on the television or to play video games we will not go really far in our lives. Fundamentally, it all depends on where we decide to invest our gained time, it all depends on us.

I would appreciate any kind of comments, corrections, suggestions.

Many thanks.

lz177